SEVEN HABITS TO GIVE UP NOW IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS 

SEVEN HABITS TO GIVE UP NOW  IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS 


1. Give up our need to always be right

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress & pain, for us & for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever we feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right & who is wrong, ask yourself this question:

 “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”

  “Is it really worth it to cause a strain in my relationship just so that I’m right?”

 “Will it really make a difference?”

2. Give up our need for control

Be willing to give up our need to always control everything that happens to us & around us – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers we meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything & everyone to be just as they are & we will see how much better that will make us feel.

3. Give up on blame

Give up on our need to blame others for what we have or don’t have, for what we feel or don’t feel. Stop giving our powers away. Accept when something has happened & start taking responsibility. Make everything that happens work out for the better.

Remember on the Day of Qiyaamah, we will stand alone & be held accountable for own deeds with no one to blame. 

4. Give up our self-defeating self-talk

STOP all the negative, repetitive, polluted & self-defeated whispers & thoughts. We hurt & damage ourselves when we listen to all those negative thoughts which is essentially Shaytaan bringing us down to destroy us . We are better than that, an amazing creation of اللّه  . Let’s fill our minds with His love, His Mercy, with His Greatness.

5. Give up on our limiting beliefs

There is nothing we cannot do, there is nothing impossible for us to achieve.We have the weapon of dua & the blessing of health & the faculties of our amazing mind & powerful body. Don’t allow our limiting beliefs to keep us stuck in the wrong place. Spread our wings & fly! 

We were meant for greatness. When we tread in the footsteps of the greatest man, Rasulullah sallallaahu alayhi wasallam who’s every facet of life is a blueprint for us to follow, then our present & our future becomes filled with greatness.

6. Give up complaining

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad & depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you , but how you choose to look at it. Say Alhamdulilah & mean it with every fibre of your being. There’s goodness in every situation. Just because you can’t see it, it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Remember اللّه  is the most Perfect of Planners. 

7. Give up criticizing

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you or think differently than you.Yes we are all different, but yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love & be loved & we all want to be understood. Our hearts yearn for similar things.

The Al-Imdaad Foundation

The Al-Imdaad Foundation

Who -What is the The Al-Imdaad Foundation, “The Al-Imdaad Foundation is a non-profit humanitarian aid relief organisation (NGO) registered in the Republic of South Africa, dedicated to providing humanitarian services in crisis and non-crisis situations to most needy orphans, widows and destitute, irrespective of race, religion, culture, creed and geographical boundary.” quote taken from their website : http://www.alimdaad.com/html/Public/About.aspx

I personally know 2 of the many amazing aid -volunteers, Qari Ziyaad Patel and his wife Ayesha.

The amount of hardships and headaches they have seen, witnessed and have experienced with their team is devastating. 

I ask you my dear readers, bloggers, take time , visit their website , their YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/ALIMDAAD

Helping and caring for the destitute should NOT be about, religion, caste, culture, it should be because, you care, you feel their pain, their loses, and never blame them for the atrocious, vile inhuman acts carried out by others. 

I wish sincerely that I one day get to help, and try and ease the suffering of thousands like Qari Ziyaad Patel ,his wife Ayesha, their team, and others.

Please share this post, it’s links, let’s start something that would make a difference.

With Peace 

RELATION OF FATHER AND DAUGHTER IN ISLAM

RELATION OF FATHER AND DAUGHTER IN ISLAM

Aalhamdolillah I have been blessed with an amazing father, who is my greatest support during my struggles in life, my greatest been of happiness during my triumphs in life. 

The reason for this sensitive topic is because I have being getting a lot of questions on the “Father -Daughter Relationship in Islam” 

In the Muslim community especially, this is an issue which has been overlooked, ignored, and generally treated with a sense of discomfort. Particularly amongst immigrant families, the relationship between a father and his daughter(s) is often a distant one; girls are encouraged to spend the most of their time with their mothers and other womenfolk.

 A girl might be “Daddy’s Little Princess” as a baby, a toddler, a child, but as she grows closer to puberty she will often find herself left at home instead of taken to the Masjid, attention deflected from her and turned towards her brothers instead (if she has any). Unfortunately, this is a practice which has extremely negative repercussions… for the fathers, the daughters, and indeed the Ummah at large.

 The role of a father in his daughter’s life is pivotal: he is the first man in her life; the one who teaches her what he, a male, thinks of her, a female; and thus shapes her sense of self-worth in the eyes of other men; the one whose behaviour and mannerisms will influence her mental image of “the perfect man” and her choice of life partner (i.e. husband).

In Islam as well as in psychology, the father is meant to be the daughter’s guardian, protecting her from harm, teaching her life skills and strong values. Yet despite all this, far too many fathers play a distant, secondary role in their daughter’s lives. There is a misconception that a father is merely the breadwinner, the supporter of the household, that his role is primarily that of financial provider rather than nurturer. After all, isn’t it the mother’s job to raise the children? Isn’t it the mother’s job to teach her daughters what it is to be a girl, a woman?

Yes, it is – but the mother is not a child’s only parent. She is equally the man’s progeny. His genes are present in her DNA, his flesh and blood are hers. When she looks at him, he is seeing a part of himself; in her behaviour is a reflection of his own attitude and mannerisms. How then can any father willingly minimize his role in his daughter’s life?

Mistakes Fathers Make

 · Not being actively involved from the beginning (birth). Hold your daughter. Carry her. Change her diapers. You can’t expect to develop a bond between yourself and your child if you don’t make the effort to create it. 

 · Not getting involved because you think you’re unprepared. Considering that you’ve already had experience with females thanks to your mother/ sister/ wife, you’re not as unprepared as you think you are, so relax. 

· Distancing yourself from her as she grows older. Girls become women. They change physically. It’s a fact of life, get used to it. Yes, puberty is uncomfortable for everyone involved, but denying it or ignoring it – or worse, ignoring her – just makes things worse. Nobody’s suggesting that you chat with your daughter about the details of her menstrual cycle, but it’d be a lot more helpful if you grabbed the Tylenol and handed her a hot water bottle instead of walking straight past her when you clearly know that she’s in pain. This is just one example of fathers’ denial about their daughters growing up; in truth, there are many ways that fathers demonstrate distance from their daughters. 

 · Having little to no physical contact. The idea that hugging, kissing, or having any other positive physical contact with your daughter is “wrong” or “not manly” is absolutely ridiculous. Not only that, but it’s extremely harmful to your daughter’s development as she grows older. Whether your daughter is five or fifteen, both of you should be comfortable enough to turn to each other for a hug (that lasts longer than five seconds) at any time. 

 · Little to no emotional communication. “Pass the salt” does not qualify as real communication. Make an effort to be involved in your daughter’s everyday life, whether it has to do with school and friends or just how she’s feeling on any given day. Building this bond will create a feeling of security and trust, and your daughter should be able to turn to you for help at times of emotional hurt and conflict. 

 · Not expressing pride in their daughters. Girls crave their father’s praise and approval just as much as boys do. Nothing can thrill a daughter more than knowing that her father sees his own good qualities in her, that he is really and truly proud of her and her accomplishments. 

The greatest, most perfect example of father-daughter relationships can be found in the history of Islam. Has there ever been a father more devoted, a daughter more adoring, than our beloved Messenger (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and Sayyidah Faatimah az-Zahraa’ (radhiAllahu anha)?

 We all know the stories:

 Young Faatimah, scarcely ten years old, wiping filth off of her father’s back and furiously berating the leaders of Quraysh for their behaviour.

 Faatimah, who used to weep at the sight of dust that was thrown upon her father’s head, and would be comforted with the words “Do not cry, my daughter, for Allah shall protect your father!” 

Faatimah, the apple of her father’s eye, of whom he said: “Whoever pleased Fatimah has indeed pleased God and whoever has caused her to be angry has indeed angered God. Fatimah is a part of me. Whatever pleases her pleases me and whatever angers her angers me.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3437; Muslim, 4483)

Noble Faatimah, one of the four greatest women in the world: “The best women in all the world are four: the Virgin Mary, Aasiyaa the wife of Pharoah, Khadijah Mother of the Believers, and Fatimah, daughter of Muhammad.” 

Faatimah, of whom A’isha (radhiAllahu anha) commented, “I have not seen any one of God’s creation resemble the Messenger of God more in speech, conversation and manner of sitting than Fatimah, may God be pleased with her. When the Prophet saw her approaching, he would welcome her, stand up and kiss her, take her by the hand and sit her down in the place where he was sitting.”

The entire Muslim Ummah has benefited directly from this unique father-daughter relationship. How many lessons have been derived from the Seerah, from incidents pertaining to this father and to this daughter?! How much knowledge, how much wisdom, was transmitted from father to daughter, and from that daughter to her own sons, al-Hassan and al-Hussein (radhiAllahu anhum)?! Yaa subhanAllah! How can we ever belittle, neglect, forget the importance of such a bond?

 O Muslim fathers, will you follow in the footsteps of the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ‘alayi wa sallam)? Will you do what you can to help your daughter become the Faatimah az-Zahraa’ of today?

Stay Away From Anger..

 Stay away from Anger.. 

  It hurts ..Only You! 

 If you are right then there is no need to get angry, 

 And if you are wrong then you don’t have any right to get angry. 

 Patience with family is love,

 Patience with others is respect. 

 Patience with self is confidence and Patience with Allah is faith. 

 Never Think Hard about the PAST, It brings Tears…

 Don’t think more about the FUTURE, It brings Fear… 

 Live this Moment with a Smile,It brings Cheer.

 Every test in our life makes us bitter or better,

 Every problem comes to make us or break us, 

The choice is ours whether we become victims or victorious.

 Beautiful things are not always good but good things are always beautiful.

 Do you know why Allah created gaps between fingers? 

 So that someone who is special to you comes and fills those gaps by holding your hand forever.

 Happiness keeps You Sweet..But being sweet brings happiness..

Minimum 35 Ways to Respect your Parents. 

Minimum 35 Ways to Respect your Parents. 
May Allah give us sense of ability to follow these guidelines. Aameen. 1. Put away your phone in their presence.

2. Pay attention to what they are saying.

3. Accept their opinions.

4. Engage in their conversations.

5. Look at them with respect.

6. Always praise them.

7. Share good news with them.

8. Avoid sharing bad news with them.

9. Speak well of their friends and loved ones to them.

10. Keep in remembrance the good things they did.

11. If they repeat a story, listen like it’s the first time they tell it.

12. Don’t bring up painful memories from the past.

13. Avoid side conversations in their presence.

14. Sit respectfully around them.

15. Don’t belittle/criticize their opinions and thoughts.

16. Avoid cutting them off when they speak.

17. Respect their age.

18. Avoid disciplining their grandchildren around them.

19. Accept their advice and direction.

20. Give them the power of leadership when they are present.

21. Avoid raising your voice at them.

22. Avoid walking in front or ahead of them.

23. Avoid eating before them.

24. Avoid glaring at them.

25. Fill them with your appreciation even when they don’t think they deserve it.

26. Avoid putting your feet up in front of them or sitting with your back to them.

27. Don’t speak ill of them to the point where others speak ill of them too.

28. Keep them in your prayers always possible.

29. Avoid seeming bored or tired of them in their presence.

30. Avoid laughing at their faults/mistakes.

31. Do a task before they ask you to.

32. Continuously visit them.

33. Choose your words carefully when speaking with them.

34. Call them by names they like.

35. Make them your priority above anything.

Parents are treasure on this land and sooner than you think, that treasure will be buried. Appreciate your parents while you still can.

Today lets make loads of duas for our beloved parents, alive or deceased.

“Ya Allah ease the burdens of our beloved parents, آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ 

Ya Allah remove their burdens due to debt, آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ 

Ya Allah ease their pain, آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ 

Ya Allah give shifa for the diseases they’re suffering from, آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ 

Ya Allah never make them dependent on anyone besides YOU until their last breath, آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ 

Ya Allah bless our parents with Happiness. آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ”

We should respect and honour our parents. Never hurt them, part of the reason of all the troubles they’re undergoing is due to us.

Their debts are due to fulfilling our needs,

Their poor health is due to their efforts in giving us the best,

Their every breath is a sacrifice made for their children…

Make a promise that u would at least do one thing today which will make YOUR parents happy.

Our Tongue Can Be Our Worst Enemy

                                            Our Tongue Can Be Our Worst Enemy

Your words, your dreams, and your thoughts have power to create conditions in your life. What you speak about, you can bring about.

a) If you keep saying you can’t stand your job, you might lose your job.
b) If you keep saying you can’t stand your body, your body can become sick.
c) If you keep saying that you are sick or ill, guess what you will stay sick or ill.
d) If you keep saying you can’t stand your car, your car could be stolen or just stop operating.
e) If you keep saying you’re broke, guess what? You’ll always be broke.
f) If you keep saying you can’t trust a man or trust a woman, you will always find someone in your life to hurt and betray you. If you keep saying you can’t find a job, you will remain unemployed.
g) If you keep saying you can’t find someone to love you or believe in you. Your very thought will attract more experiences to confirm your beliefs

“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”

Grandparents :)

I dedicate this post to my amazing parents who really are wonderful, patient, loving. Caring and fun grandparents…. And to all the grandparents who read my blog

Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. ~Author Unknown

What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars’ worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret

Grandmothers are just ‘antique’ little girls. ~Author Unknown

Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~ Welsh Proverb

A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television.. ~Author Unknown Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal

Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you’re just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown

Grandchildren don’t stay young forever, which is good because Grandfathers have only so many horsy rides in them. ~Gene Perret

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~ Ogden Nash Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete. ~ Marcy DeMaree

Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies. ~Author unknown Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever. ~Author Unknown

If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I’d have had them first. ~Lois Wyse
My grandkids believe I’m the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too. ~Gene Perret 

If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it! ~ Hannah Whithall Smith

It’s such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother – that’s why the world calls her grandmother. ~Author Unknown

Grandchildren are God’s way of compensating us for growing old. ~ Mary H. Waldrip

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. ~Proverb An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret

The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida . ~ Dave Barry

I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have – if only for self-defense. ~Gene Perret

Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple. Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love. ~Author Unknown

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~Alex Haley

Grandmother – a wonderful mother with lots of practice. ~Author Unknown

A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. ~Author Unknown

One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. ~Joy Hargrove

It’s amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one. ~Author Unknown

If your baby is ‘beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,’ you’re the grandma. ~Teresa Bloomingdale

Grandparents are similar to a piece of string – handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren. ~Author Unknown

What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I’d like to say that grandparents are God’s gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate. ~ Bill Cosby