SEVEN HABITS TO GIVE UP NOW IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS 

SEVEN HABITS TO GIVE UP NOW  IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS 


1. Give up our need to always be right

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress & pain, for us & for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever we feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right & who is wrong, ask yourself this question:

 “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”

  “Is it really worth it to cause a strain in my relationship just so that I’m right?”

 “Will it really make a difference?”

2. Give up our need for control

Be willing to give up our need to always control everything that happens to us & around us – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers we meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything & everyone to be just as they are & we will see how much better that will make us feel.

3. Give up on blame

Give up on our need to blame others for what we have or don’t have, for what we feel or don’t feel. Stop giving our powers away. Accept when something has happened & start taking responsibility. Make everything that happens work out for the better.

Remember on the Day of Qiyaamah, we will stand alone & be held accountable for own deeds with no one to blame. 

4. Give up our self-defeating self-talk

STOP all the negative, repetitive, polluted & self-defeated whispers & thoughts. We hurt & damage ourselves when we listen to all those negative thoughts which is essentially Shaytaan bringing us down to destroy us . We are better than that, an amazing creation of اللّه  . Let’s fill our minds with His love, His Mercy, with His Greatness.

5. Give up on our limiting beliefs

There is nothing we cannot do, there is nothing impossible for us to achieve.We have the weapon of dua & the blessing of health & the faculties of our amazing mind & powerful body. Don’t allow our limiting beliefs to keep us stuck in the wrong place. Spread our wings & fly! 

We were meant for greatness. When we tread in the footsteps of the greatest man, Rasulullah sallallaahu alayhi wasallam who’s every facet of life is a blueprint for us to follow, then our present & our future becomes filled with greatness.

6. Give up complaining

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad & depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you , but how you choose to look at it. Say Alhamdulilah & mean it with every fibre of your being. There’s goodness in every situation. Just because you can’t see it, it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Remember اللّه  is the most Perfect of Planners. 

7. Give up criticizing

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you or think differently than you.Yes we are all different, but yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love & be loved & we all want to be understood. Our hearts yearn for similar things.

MOTIVATION FOR SALAAH

MOTIVATION FOR SALAAH

So I have been really busy teaching, had a car accident (Aalhamdolillah much better now).

I was doing the beauty of salaah with the older children class, for motivation for Ramadan and inshallah every day of our lives.

I would like to share what we have learnt and been trying to practice so far:

Excerpts from “How to taste the true beauty of salaah” series by Mishari Al Kharraz:

1. Say Allahu akbar and throw the world behind you.

Did you ever think: why do we start our prayer with Allahu akbar not with subhanAllah? Realize that when you say Allahu akbar you affirm that the one before whom you are about to stand is greater than anything occupying you at that moment— greater than your sleep, your families, your bills, and your worries. Just imagine that when you say Allahu akbar while raising your hands you are throwing all of that behind you!

2. Visualize the veil.

When you stand to pray, Allah ‘azza wa jall commands: Raise the veils from between Me and my servant! As soon as you say Allahu akbar and start your prayer, Allah sets His beautiful face to yours and doesn’t turn away from you, unless you do. When your thoughts or your sight drifts off, He orders the veils to be drawn back down. Visualize these veils being lifted to keep concentrated with your heart and body. Are you still drifting? This is why you repeat the great words Allahu akbar as you move into each position; it’s a reminder and a new chance again and again to focus!

3. Salute the King.

Imagine walking into a palace, how would you recognize the servants of the king? Probably by their humble position: looking down. As you lower your gaze to the place of your prostration and place your hands right over left and close to your chest it is time to salute the King. Imagine standing in front of Allah ‘azza wa jall as you utter this beautiful saluation and feel each word: Subhanakallahumma wa bihamdika, wa tabaarakasmuka wa ta’alaa jadduka— How perfect You are O Allah, and I praise You. Blessed be Your name, and lofty is Your position and none has the right to be worshipped except You.

Realize that only the parts of salah you are mindful of are being accepted and that Shaytan does his very best to steal every sweet moment you have with Allah!

4. Feel each ayah of Surah Al-Fatiha is answered.

You are now ready to enter the essence of it all: Surah Al-Fatiha, the greatest surah of the Quran, without which your prayer is nullified. Know that Allah Himself answers back when you recite of Surah Al-Fatiha, so add a short pause after each ayah, feeling this amazing dialogue. How can you ever drift of in this part of the prayer?

5. Utter His name with pure love.

What has brought you to stand here right now? It is your love and longing to be with Allah ‘azza wa jall. And when you meet up with your beloved, what do you first say? The sweet sound of the beloved’s name, the name that blesses everything it falls upon! Feel the bismillaahir-rahmaanir-raheem soothing your heart as it gently rolls off your lips.

6. Stand still at: “the Lord of the worlds.”

Rasulullah (SAW) told us, “Alhamdulillah fills the scale!” [Muslim] Really feel gratefulness when you say alhamdulillah. Did you see those documentaries where they zoom out from the cells of a plant’s leaf all the way to the planets and galaxies? Now instead of that leaf, start the zoom out process with the image of yourself standing before Allah. Then zoom back down, back through the universe, to the place you are standing in prayer. The next time you pray view yourself from above and far away and truly taste the meaning of Rabbil aalemeen (Lord of the worlds)!

7. Reflect on Ar-Rahmaanir Raheem before Maaliki yawmid-Deen.

Have you ever wondered why Allah’s names Ar-Rahmaanir and Ar-Raheem come before Maaliki yawmid-Deen (Master of the Day of Judgement)? Be reminded that it is the Most Gracious and Merciful who will judge us on the the Day of Judgement! So feel empowered and comforted when you say Ar-Rahmaanir-Raheem and then pause a moment at Maaliki yawmid-Deen, realizing the horrors of that Day.

8. Know what iyyaaka na’budu wa iyyaaka nasta’een really means.

You alone we worship, and unto You alone we turn for help. Let this remind you to make Allah alone your focus, not the people. So when you are asked, why did you do this or that (deed), you can firmly answer: for Allah! Feel this ayah by knowing that the sahabah used to weep for hours reciting it. One of them was once praying in Mecca. His friend went ahead and did the tawaf and when he returned to him, he was still at this verse, repeating it and crying, until the sun came up.

9. Say Aameen as if your life depended on it.

The most comprehensive supplication you can make is: ihdinas-siraatal-mustaqeem (Guide us to the straight path). See how you followed the proper etiquettes of how to ask Allah? You started glorifying and praising Him and then you make your request: Guide us. Now realize that your entire existence depends on this supplication. The ameen you’ll pronounce now will have to come from the bottom of your heart. Ameen means: My Lord, grant or answer (my prayers). Say ameen as if you have been sentenced to death and are pleading for pardon, begging with passion.

10. Feel the bond with your Rabb. 

When you say subhana Rabbiyya- al-‘atheem (How perfect My Lord is, The Supreme) in ruku’, focus on the pronoun that means my (in Rabbi). It adds that element of bonding: He is My Lord, who raised me in His care and who is nurturing me. Know Rasulullah (SAW) and the Companions used to be in the bowing position as long as he would be in the standing segment of salah. One companion said that he recited Al Fatiha, then Al Baqara, Ali Imran, An-Nisaa’ and Al Ma’ida, and the companion Abdullah Ibn Al Zubair was beside him, still in his ruku’.

11. Win the grand finale: your sujood.

Your sujood is the ultimate symbol of complete submission to your Creator. Rasulullah (SAW) said: “The closest that a servant is to his Lord is when he is in prostration.” [Muslim] And: “Prostrate much because there is no Muslim that prostrates to Allah except that Allah raises him one degree in Paradise by it and forgives for him a sin.”[Ahmad] Imagine you are being raised one degree in Paradise with each sujood and a sin falls off you with each prostration. Prostrate with body, heart, and soul and taste the sweetest feeling in the world!

12. Supplicate before the tasleem.

After the words of the tashahhud (sitting position at the end of prayer) and before the tasleem (saying salaam to indicate the end of prayer), there is a precious moment many waste! When the Rasulullah (SAW) taught Abdallah ibn Mas’ood (RA) the tashahhud he said: … Then let him choose whatever supplications he wishes. [Al-Bukhaari, Muslim]. Just before you say tasleem, make at least three heartfelt dua’s to benefit from this treasure chest instead of rushing to say the salaam!

Remember this: the sweetness of this life lies in remembering Him, the sweetness of the next life lies in seeing Him! The next time you proceed for prayer, go because you love Him, go because you miss Him and long to be with Him. Feel your heart flutter. Only then, will you be on your way to attaining that inner peace and comfort salah was prescribed for.

RELATION OF FATHER AND DAUGHTER IN ISLAM

RELATION OF FATHER AND DAUGHTER IN ISLAM

Aalhamdolillah I have been blessed with an amazing father, who is my greatest support during my struggles in life, my greatest been of happiness during my triumphs in life. 

The reason for this sensitive topic is because I have being getting a lot of questions on the “Father -Daughter Relationship in Islam” 

In the Muslim community especially, this is an issue which has been overlooked, ignored, and generally treated with a sense of discomfort. Particularly amongst immigrant families, the relationship between a father and his daughter(s) is often a distant one; girls are encouraged to spend the most of their time with their mothers and other womenfolk.

 A girl might be “Daddy’s Little Princess” as a baby, a toddler, a child, but as she grows closer to puberty she will often find herself left at home instead of taken to the Masjid, attention deflected from her and turned towards her brothers instead (if she has any). Unfortunately, this is a practice which has extremely negative repercussions… for the fathers, the daughters, and indeed the Ummah at large.

 The role of a father in his daughter’s life is pivotal: he is the first man in her life; the one who teaches her what he, a male, thinks of her, a female; and thus shapes her sense of self-worth in the eyes of other men; the one whose behaviour and mannerisms will influence her mental image of “the perfect man” and her choice of life partner (i.e. husband).

In Islam as well as in psychology, the father is meant to be the daughter’s guardian, protecting her from harm, teaching her life skills and strong values. Yet despite all this, far too many fathers play a distant, secondary role in their daughter’s lives. There is a misconception that a father is merely the breadwinner, the supporter of the household, that his role is primarily that of financial provider rather than nurturer. After all, isn’t it the mother’s job to raise the children? Isn’t it the mother’s job to teach her daughters what it is to be a girl, a woman?

Yes, it is – but the mother is not a child’s only parent. She is equally the man’s progeny. His genes are present in her DNA, his flesh and blood are hers. When she looks at him, he is seeing a part of himself; in her behaviour is a reflection of his own attitude and mannerisms. How then can any father willingly minimize his role in his daughter’s life?

Mistakes Fathers Make

 · Not being actively involved from the beginning (birth). Hold your daughter. Carry her. Change her diapers. You can’t expect to develop a bond between yourself and your child if you don’t make the effort to create it. 

 · Not getting involved because you think you’re unprepared. Considering that you’ve already had experience with females thanks to your mother/ sister/ wife, you’re not as unprepared as you think you are, so relax. 

· Distancing yourself from her as she grows older. Girls become women. They change physically. It’s a fact of life, get used to it. Yes, puberty is uncomfortable for everyone involved, but denying it or ignoring it – or worse, ignoring her – just makes things worse. Nobody’s suggesting that you chat with your daughter about the details of her menstrual cycle, but it’d be a lot more helpful if you grabbed the Tylenol and handed her a hot water bottle instead of walking straight past her when you clearly know that she’s in pain. This is just one example of fathers’ denial about their daughters growing up; in truth, there are many ways that fathers demonstrate distance from their daughters. 

 · Having little to no physical contact. The idea that hugging, kissing, or having any other positive physical contact with your daughter is “wrong” or “not manly” is absolutely ridiculous. Not only that, but it’s extremely harmful to your daughter’s development as she grows older. Whether your daughter is five or fifteen, both of you should be comfortable enough to turn to each other for a hug (that lasts longer than five seconds) at any time. 

 · Little to no emotional communication. “Pass the salt” does not qualify as real communication. Make an effort to be involved in your daughter’s everyday life, whether it has to do with school and friends or just how she’s feeling on any given day. Building this bond will create a feeling of security and trust, and your daughter should be able to turn to you for help at times of emotional hurt and conflict. 

 · Not expressing pride in their daughters. Girls crave their father’s praise and approval just as much as boys do. Nothing can thrill a daughter more than knowing that her father sees his own good qualities in her, that he is really and truly proud of her and her accomplishments. 

The greatest, most perfect example of father-daughter relationships can be found in the history of Islam. Has there ever been a father more devoted, a daughter more adoring, than our beloved Messenger (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and Sayyidah Faatimah az-Zahraa’ (radhiAllahu anha)?

 We all know the stories:

 Young Faatimah, scarcely ten years old, wiping filth off of her father’s back and furiously berating the leaders of Quraysh for their behaviour.

 Faatimah, who used to weep at the sight of dust that was thrown upon her father’s head, and would be comforted with the words “Do not cry, my daughter, for Allah shall protect your father!” 

Faatimah, the apple of her father’s eye, of whom he said: “Whoever pleased Fatimah has indeed pleased God and whoever has caused her to be angry has indeed angered God. Fatimah is a part of me. Whatever pleases her pleases me and whatever angers her angers me.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3437; Muslim, 4483)

Noble Faatimah, one of the four greatest women in the world: “The best women in all the world are four: the Virgin Mary, Aasiyaa the wife of Pharoah, Khadijah Mother of the Believers, and Fatimah, daughter of Muhammad.” 

Faatimah, of whom A’isha (radhiAllahu anha) commented, “I have not seen any one of God’s creation resemble the Messenger of God more in speech, conversation and manner of sitting than Fatimah, may God be pleased with her. When the Prophet saw her approaching, he would welcome her, stand up and kiss her, take her by the hand and sit her down in the place where he was sitting.”

The entire Muslim Ummah has benefited directly from this unique father-daughter relationship. How many lessons have been derived from the Seerah, from incidents pertaining to this father and to this daughter?! How much knowledge, how much wisdom, was transmitted from father to daughter, and from that daughter to her own sons, al-Hassan and al-Hussein (radhiAllahu anhum)?! Yaa subhanAllah! How can we ever belittle, neglect, forget the importance of such a bond?

 O Muslim fathers, will you follow in the footsteps of the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ‘alayi wa sallam)? Will you do what you can to help your daughter become the Faatimah az-Zahraa’ of today?

Stay Away From Anger..

 Stay away from Anger.. 

  It hurts ..Only You! 

 If you are right then there is no need to get angry, 

 And if you are wrong then you don’t have any right to get angry. 

 Patience with family is love,

 Patience with others is respect. 

 Patience with self is confidence and Patience with Allah is faith. 

 Never Think Hard about the PAST, It brings Tears…

 Don’t think more about the FUTURE, It brings Fear… 

 Live this Moment with a Smile,It brings Cheer.

 Every test in our life makes us bitter or better,

 Every problem comes to make us or break us, 

The choice is ours whether we become victims or victorious.

 Beautiful things are not always good but good things are always beautiful.

 Do you know why Allah created gaps between fingers? 

 So that someone who is special to you comes and fills those gaps by holding your hand forever.

 Happiness keeps You Sweet..But being sweet brings happiness..

Minimum 35 Ways to Respect your Parents. 

Minimum 35 Ways to Respect your Parents. 
May Allah give us sense of ability to follow these guidelines. Aameen. 1. Put away your phone in their presence.

2. Pay attention to what they are saying.

3. Accept their opinions.

4. Engage in their conversations.

5. Look at them with respect.

6. Always praise them.

7. Share good news with them.

8. Avoid sharing bad news with them.

9. Speak well of their friends and loved ones to them.

10. Keep in remembrance the good things they did.

11. If they repeat a story, listen like it’s the first time they tell it.

12. Don’t bring up painful memories from the past.

13. Avoid side conversations in their presence.

14. Sit respectfully around them.

15. Don’t belittle/criticize their opinions and thoughts.

16. Avoid cutting them off when they speak.

17. Respect their age.

18. Avoid disciplining their grandchildren around them.

19. Accept their advice and direction.

20. Give them the power of leadership when they are present.

21. Avoid raising your voice at them.

22. Avoid walking in front or ahead of them.

23. Avoid eating before them.

24. Avoid glaring at them.

25. Fill them with your appreciation even when they don’t think they deserve it.

26. Avoid putting your feet up in front of them or sitting with your back to them.

27. Don’t speak ill of them to the point where others speak ill of them too.

28. Keep them in your prayers always possible.

29. Avoid seeming bored or tired of them in their presence.

30. Avoid laughing at their faults/mistakes.

31. Do a task before they ask you to.

32. Continuously visit them.

33. Choose your words carefully when speaking with them.

34. Call them by names they like.

35. Make them your priority above anything.

Parents are treasure on this land and sooner than you think, that treasure will be buried. Appreciate your parents while you still can.

Today lets make loads of duas for our beloved parents, alive or deceased.

“Ya Allah ease the burdens of our beloved parents, آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ 

Ya Allah remove their burdens due to debt, آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ 

Ya Allah ease their pain, آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ 

Ya Allah give shifa for the diseases they’re suffering from, آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ 

Ya Allah never make them dependent on anyone besides YOU until their last breath, آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ 

Ya Allah bless our parents with Happiness. آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ”

We should respect and honour our parents. Never hurt them, part of the reason of all the troubles they’re undergoing is due to us.

Their debts are due to fulfilling our needs,

Their poor health is due to their efforts in giving us the best,

Their every breath is a sacrifice made for their children…

Make a promise that u would at least do one thing today which will make YOUR parents happy.