SEVEN HABITS TO GIVE UP NOW IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS 

SEVEN HABITS TO GIVE UP NOW  IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS 


1. Give up our need to always be right

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress & pain, for us & for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever we feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right & who is wrong, ask yourself this question:

 “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”

  “Is it really worth it to cause a strain in my relationship just so that I’m right?”

 “Will it really make a difference?”

2. Give up our need for control

Be willing to give up our need to always control everything that happens to us & around us – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers we meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything & everyone to be just as they are & we will see how much better that will make us feel.

3. Give up on blame

Give up on our need to blame others for what we have or don’t have, for what we feel or don’t feel. Stop giving our powers away. Accept when something has happened & start taking responsibility. Make everything that happens work out for the better.

Remember on the Day of Qiyaamah, we will stand alone & be held accountable for own deeds with no one to blame. 

4. Give up our self-defeating self-talk

STOP all the negative, repetitive, polluted & self-defeated whispers & thoughts. We hurt & damage ourselves when we listen to all those negative thoughts which is essentially Shaytaan bringing us down to destroy us . We are better than that, an amazing creation of اللّه  . Let’s fill our minds with His love, His Mercy, with His Greatness.

5. Give up on our limiting beliefs

There is nothing we cannot do, there is nothing impossible for us to achieve.We have the weapon of dua & the blessing of health & the faculties of our amazing mind & powerful body. Don’t allow our limiting beliefs to keep us stuck in the wrong place. Spread our wings & fly! 

We were meant for greatness. When we tread in the footsteps of the greatest man, Rasulullah sallallaahu alayhi wasallam who’s every facet of life is a blueprint for us to follow, then our present & our future becomes filled with greatness.

6. Give up complaining

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad & depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you , but how you choose to look at it. Say Alhamdulilah & mean it with every fibre of your being. There’s goodness in every situation. Just because you can’t see it, it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Remember اللّه  is the most Perfect of Planners. 

7. Give up criticizing

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you or think differently than you.Yes we are all different, but yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love & be loved & we all want to be understood. Our hearts yearn for similar things.

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RELATION OF FATHER AND DAUGHTER IN ISLAM

RELATION OF FATHER AND DAUGHTER IN ISLAM

Aalhamdolillah I have been blessed with an amazing father, who is my greatest support during my struggles in life, my greatest been of happiness during my triumphs in life. 

The reason for this sensitive topic is because I have being getting a lot of questions on the “Father -Daughter Relationship in Islam” 

In the Muslim community especially, this is an issue which has been overlooked, ignored, and generally treated with a sense of discomfort. Particularly amongst immigrant families, the relationship between a father and his daughter(s) is often a distant one; girls are encouraged to spend the most of their time with their mothers and other womenfolk.

 A girl might be “Daddy’s Little Princess” as a baby, a toddler, a child, but as she grows closer to puberty she will often find herself left at home instead of taken to the Masjid, attention deflected from her and turned towards her brothers instead (if she has any). Unfortunately, this is a practice which has extremely negative repercussions… for the fathers, the daughters, and indeed the Ummah at large.

 The role of a father in his daughter’s life is pivotal: he is the first man in her life; the one who teaches her what he, a male, thinks of her, a female; and thus shapes her sense of self-worth in the eyes of other men; the one whose behaviour and mannerisms will influence her mental image of “the perfect man” and her choice of life partner (i.e. husband).

In Islam as well as in psychology, the father is meant to be the daughter’s guardian, protecting her from harm, teaching her life skills and strong values. Yet despite all this, far too many fathers play a distant, secondary role in their daughter’s lives. There is a misconception that a father is merely the breadwinner, the supporter of the household, that his role is primarily that of financial provider rather than nurturer. After all, isn’t it the mother’s job to raise the children? Isn’t it the mother’s job to teach her daughters what it is to be a girl, a woman?

Yes, it is – but the mother is not a child’s only parent. She is equally the man’s progeny. His genes are present in her DNA, his flesh and blood are hers. When she looks at him, he is seeing a part of himself; in her behaviour is a reflection of his own attitude and mannerisms. How then can any father willingly minimize his role in his daughter’s life?

Mistakes Fathers Make

 · Not being actively involved from the beginning (birth). Hold your daughter. Carry her. Change her diapers. You can’t expect to develop a bond between yourself and your child if you don’t make the effort to create it. 

 · Not getting involved because you think you’re unprepared. Considering that you’ve already had experience with females thanks to your mother/ sister/ wife, you’re not as unprepared as you think you are, so relax. 

· Distancing yourself from her as she grows older. Girls become women. They change physically. It’s a fact of life, get used to it. Yes, puberty is uncomfortable for everyone involved, but denying it or ignoring it – or worse, ignoring her – just makes things worse. Nobody’s suggesting that you chat with your daughter about the details of her menstrual cycle, but it’d be a lot more helpful if you grabbed the Tylenol and handed her a hot water bottle instead of walking straight past her when you clearly know that she’s in pain. This is just one example of fathers’ denial about their daughters growing up; in truth, there are many ways that fathers demonstrate distance from their daughters. 

 · Having little to no physical contact. The idea that hugging, kissing, or having any other positive physical contact with your daughter is “wrong” or “not manly” is absolutely ridiculous. Not only that, but it’s extremely harmful to your daughter’s development as she grows older. Whether your daughter is five or fifteen, both of you should be comfortable enough to turn to each other for a hug (that lasts longer than five seconds) at any time. 

 · Little to no emotional communication. “Pass the salt” does not qualify as real communication. Make an effort to be involved in your daughter’s everyday life, whether it has to do with school and friends or just how she’s feeling on any given day. Building this bond will create a feeling of security and trust, and your daughter should be able to turn to you for help at times of emotional hurt and conflict. 

 · Not expressing pride in their daughters. Girls crave their father’s praise and approval just as much as boys do. Nothing can thrill a daughter more than knowing that her father sees his own good qualities in her, that he is really and truly proud of her and her accomplishments. 

The greatest, most perfect example of father-daughter relationships can be found in the history of Islam. Has there ever been a father more devoted, a daughter more adoring, than our beloved Messenger (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and Sayyidah Faatimah az-Zahraa’ (radhiAllahu anha)?

 We all know the stories:

 Young Faatimah, scarcely ten years old, wiping filth off of her father’s back and furiously berating the leaders of Quraysh for their behaviour.

 Faatimah, who used to weep at the sight of dust that was thrown upon her father’s head, and would be comforted with the words “Do not cry, my daughter, for Allah shall protect your father!” 

Faatimah, the apple of her father’s eye, of whom he said: “Whoever pleased Fatimah has indeed pleased God and whoever has caused her to be angry has indeed angered God. Fatimah is a part of me. Whatever pleases her pleases me and whatever angers her angers me.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3437; Muslim, 4483)

Noble Faatimah, one of the four greatest women in the world: “The best women in all the world are four: the Virgin Mary, Aasiyaa the wife of Pharoah, Khadijah Mother of the Believers, and Fatimah, daughter of Muhammad.” 

Faatimah, of whom A’isha (radhiAllahu anha) commented, “I have not seen any one of God’s creation resemble the Messenger of God more in speech, conversation and manner of sitting than Fatimah, may God be pleased with her. When the Prophet saw her approaching, he would welcome her, stand up and kiss her, take her by the hand and sit her down in the place where he was sitting.”

The entire Muslim Ummah has benefited directly from this unique father-daughter relationship. How many lessons have been derived from the Seerah, from incidents pertaining to this father and to this daughter?! How much knowledge, how much wisdom, was transmitted from father to daughter, and from that daughter to her own sons, al-Hassan and al-Hussein (radhiAllahu anhum)?! Yaa subhanAllah! How can we ever belittle, neglect, forget the importance of such a bond?

 O Muslim fathers, will you follow in the footsteps of the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ‘alayi wa sallam)? Will you do what you can to help your daughter become the Faatimah az-Zahraa’ of today?

8 Intentions For Every Action 

8 intentions for every action

قال رسول الله (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) نية المؤمن خير من عملهNabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم. ) said something to the effect, “The intention of a Believer is better than his action.”

Moulana Ilyas رحمة الله عليه- If a person attempts to make these 8 intentions for every action that he does, for 3 days, ﺂللَّــہ will make Imaan flow through his veins just how blood flows.

1.O ﺂللَّــہ , You are giving me the Tawfeeq (ability) to do this Amal (action) and the outcome of this Amal is in Your hands.

2.O ﺂللَّــہ , I’m doing this Amal to obey Your command and to follow the Sunnah of Nabee-e-Kareem صلى الله عليه وسلم. (Think of the Command of ﺂللَّــہ سبحانه وتعالى and the Sunnahs in this action)

3.To think of the fadhaa’il (virtue)of the Amal and Istihzaar(thinking of the reward by doing the action) at the time of doing the Amal.

4.To ponder over the fact that ﺂللَّــہ سبحانه وتعالى is watching me, He hears me, knows what I am doing and He is with me.

5.O ﺂللَّــہ , I am not fit (deserving)to do this amal (coz of my sins)and everyone else who is doing it is fit to do it. Through their acceptance, accept my amal as well.

6.O ﺂللَّــہ , I am doing this Amal only to please You.

7.O ﺂللَّــہ , I am doing this Amal, please accept it and make it a means of hidayah (guidance) for me and all humanity.

8.After doing the amal, make shukr to ﺂللَّــہ ( thank ﺂللَّــہ )and make istighfaar (seek forgiveness) that I could not do the action as it was ought to be done. 

Moulana Ilyaas رحمة الله عليه used to say these are sifaat-e- qubooliyat (qualities of acceptance of any Amal (action

May ﺂللَّــہ سبحانه وتعالى grant us the ability to practice upon this beautiful advice and make all our Aamaal worthy of earning His سبحانه وتعالى ‘s pleasure and gaining closeness to Him سبحانه وتعالى آمــــــــــين آمين يا رب العالمين

Stay Away From Anger..

 Stay away from Anger.. 

  It hurts ..Only You! 

 If you are right then there is no need to get angry, 

 And if you are wrong then you don’t have any right to get angry. 

 Patience with family is love,

 Patience with others is respect. 

 Patience with self is confidence and Patience with Allah is faith. 

 Never Think Hard about the PAST, It brings Tears…

 Don’t think more about the FUTURE, It brings Fear… 

 Live this Moment with a Smile,It brings Cheer.

 Every test in our life makes us bitter or better,

 Every problem comes to make us or break us, 

The choice is ours whether we become victims or victorious.

 Beautiful things are not always good but good things are always beautiful.

 Do you know why Allah created gaps between fingers? 

 So that someone who is special to you comes and fills those gaps by holding your hand forever.

 Happiness keeps You Sweet..But being sweet brings happiness..

Minimum 35 Ways to Respect your Parents. 

Minimum 35 Ways to Respect your Parents. 
May Allah give us sense of ability to follow these guidelines. Aameen. 1. Put away your phone in their presence.

2. Pay attention to what they are saying.

3. Accept their opinions.

4. Engage in their conversations.

5. Look at them with respect.

6. Always praise them.

7. Share good news with them.

8. Avoid sharing bad news with them.

9. Speak well of their friends and loved ones to them.

10. Keep in remembrance the good things they did.

11. If they repeat a story, listen like it’s the first time they tell it.

12. Don’t bring up painful memories from the past.

13. Avoid side conversations in their presence.

14. Sit respectfully around them.

15. Don’t belittle/criticize their opinions and thoughts.

16. Avoid cutting them off when they speak.

17. Respect their age.

18. Avoid disciplining their grandchildren around them.

19. Accept their advice and direction.

20. Give them the power of leadership when they are present.

21. Avoid raising your voice at them.

22. Avoid walking in front or ahead of them.

23. Avoid eating before them.

24. Avoid glaring at them.

25. Fill them with your appreciation even when they don’t think they deserve it.

26. Avoid putting your feet up in front of them or sitting with your back to them.

27. Don’t speak ill of them to the point where others speak ill of them too.

28. Keep them in your prayers always possible.

29. Avoid seeming bored or tired of them in their presence.

30. Avoid laughing at their faults/mistakes.

31. Do a task before they ask you to.

32. Continuously visit them.

33. Choose your words carefully when speaking with them.

34. Call them by names they like.

35. Make them your priority above anything.

Parents are treasure on this land and sooner than you think, that treasure will be buried. Appreciate your parents while you still can.

Today lets make loads of duas for our beloved parents, alive or deceased.

“Ya Allah ease the burdens of our beloved parents, آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ 

Ya Allah remove their burdens due to debt, آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ 

Ya Allah ease their pain, آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ 

Ya Allah give shifa for the diseases they’re suffering from, آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ 

Ya Allah never make them dependent on anyone besides YOU until their last breath, آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ 

Ya Allah bless our parents with Happiness. آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ”

We should respect and honour our parents. Never hurt them, part of the reason of all the troubles they’re undergoing is due to us.

Their debts are due to fulfilling our needs,

Their poor health is due to their efforts in giving us the best,

Their every breath is a sacrifice made for their children…

Make a promise that u would at least do one thing today which will make YOUR parents happy.

Grandparents :)

I dedicate this post to my amazing parents who really are wonderful, patient, loving. Caring and fun grandparents…. And to all the grandparents who read my blog

Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. ~Author Unknown

What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change, and they give me a million dollars’ worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret

Grandmothers are just ‘antique’ little girls. ~Author Unknown

Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. ~ Welsh Proverb

A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead of the television.. ~Author Unknown Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal

Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you’re just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown

Grandchildren don’t stay young forever, which is good because Grandfathers have only so many horsy rides in them. ~Gene Perret

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. ~ Ogden Nash Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete. ~ Marcy DeMaree

Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies. ~Author unknown Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever. ~Author Unknown

If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I’d have had them first. ~Lois Wyse
My grandkids believe I’m the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too. ~Gene Perret 

If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it! ~ Hannah Whithall Smith

It’s such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother – that’s why the world calls her grandmother. ~Author Unknown

Grandchildren are God’s way of compensating us for growing old. ~ Mary H. Waldrip

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. ~Proverb An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret

The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida . ~ Dave Barry

I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have – if only for self-defense. ~Gene Perret

Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple. Grandmas are short on criticism and long on love. ~Author Unknown

Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of little children. ~Alex Haley

Grandmother – a wonderful mother with lots of practice. ~Author Unknown

A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. ~Author Unknown

One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. ~Joy Hargrove

It’s amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one. ~Author Unknown

If your baby is ‘beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,’ you’re the grandma. ~Teresa Bloomingdale

Grandparents are similar to a piece of string – handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their grandchildren. ~Author Unknown

What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I’d like to say that grandparents are God’s gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate. ~ Bill Cosby

 

 

Truths Everyone Forgets Too Soon

Truths Everyone Forgets Too Soon

1. The average human life is relatively short: We know deep down that life is short, and that death will happen to all of us eventually, and yet we are infinitely surprised when it happens to someone we know. It’s like walking up a flight of stairs with a distracted mind, and misjudging the final step. You expected there to be one more stair than there is, and so you find yourself off balance for a moment, before your mind shifts back to the present moment and how the world really is. LIVE your life TODAY! Don’t ignore death, but don’t be afraid of it either. Be afraid of a life you never lived because you were too afraid to take action. Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside you while you’re still alive. Be bold. Be courageous. Be scared to death, and then take the next step anyway.

2. You will only ever live the life you create for yourself: Your life is yours alone, Remember the only other “BEING” you belong and are accountable to is Allah (God) Others can try to persuade you, but they can’t decide for you. They can walk with you, but not in your shoes. So make sure the path you decide to walk aligns with your own intuition and desires, and don’t be scared to switch paths or pave a new one when it makes sense. Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t. Be productive and patient. And realize that patience is not about waiting, but the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in. This is your life, and it is made up entirely of your choices. May your actions speak louder than your words. May your life preach louder than your lips. May your success be your noise in the end. And if life only teaches you one thing, let it be that taking a passionate leap is always worth it. Even if you have no idea where you’re going to land, be brave enough to step up to the edge of the unknown, and listen to your heart.

3. Being busy does NOT mean being productive: Busyness isn’t a virtue, nor is it something to respect. Though we all have seasons of crazy schedules, very few of us have a legitimate need to be busy ALL the time. We simply don’t know how to live within our means, prioritize properly, and say no when we should. Being busy rarely equates to productivity these days. Just take a quick look around. Busy people outnumber productive people by a wide margin. Busy people are rushing all over the place, and running late half of the time. They’re heading to work, conferences, meetings, social engagements, etc. They barely have enough free time for family get-togethers and they rarely get enough sleep. Yet, emails are shooting out of their smart phones like machine gun bullets, and their day planners are jammed to the brim with obligations. Their busy schedule gives them an elevated sense of importance. But it’s all an illusion. They’re like hamsters running on a wheel. Though being busy can make us feel more alive than anything else for a moment, the sensation is not sustainable long term. We will inevitably, whether tomorrow or on our deathbed, come to wish that we spent less time in the buzz of busyness and more time actually living a purposeful life.

4. Some kind of failure always occurs before success: Most mistakes are unavoidable. Learn to forgive yourself. It’s not a problem to make them. It’s only a problem if you never learn from them. If you’re too afraid of failure, you can’t possibly do what needs to be done to be successful. The solution to this problem is making friends with failure. You want to know the difference between a master and a beginner? The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried. Behind every great piece of art is a thousand failed attempts to make it, but these attempts are simply never shown to us. Bottom line: Just because it’s not happening now, doesn’t mean it never will. Sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right.

5. Thinking and doing are two very different things: Success never comes to look for you while you wait around thinking about it. You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. Knowledge is basically useless without action. Good things don’t come to those who wait; they come to those who work on meaningful goals. Ask yourself what’s really important and then have the courage to build your life around your answer. And remember, if you wait until you feel 100% ready to begin, you’ll likely be waiting the rest of your life.

6. You don’t have to wait for an apology to forgive: Life gets much easier when you learn to accept all the apologies you never got. The key is to be thankful for every experience – positive or negative. It’s taking a step back and saying, “Thank you for the lesson.” It’s realizing that grudges from the past are a perfect waste of today’s happiness, and that holding one is like letting unwanted company live rent free in your head. Forgiveness is a promise – one you want to keep. When you forgive someone you are making a promise not to hold the unchangeable past against your present self. It has nothing to do with freeing a criminal of his or her crime, and everything to do with freeing yourself of the burden of being an eternal victim.

7. Some people are simply the wrong match for you: You will only ever be as great as the people you surround yourself with, so be brave enough to let go of those who keep bringing you down. You shouldn’t force connections with people who constantly make you feel less than amazing. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable and insecure every time you’re with them, for whatever reason, they’re probably not close friend material. If they make you feel like you can’t be yourself, or if they make you “less than” in any way, don’t pursue a connection with them. If you feel emotionally drained after hanging out with them or get a small hit of anxiety when you are reminded of them, listen to your intuition. There are so many “right people” for you, who energize you and inspire you to be your best self. It makes no sense to force it with people who are the wrong match for you.

8. It’s not other people’s job to love you; it’s yours: It’s important to be nice to others, but it’s even more important to be nice to yourself. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. So make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don’t value you. Know your worth, even if they don’t. Today, let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as incomplete as you think you are. Yes, let someone love you despite all of this, and let that someone be YOU.

9. What you own is not who YOU are. Stuff really is just stuff, and it has absolutely no bearing on who you are as a person. Most of us can make do with much less than we think we need. That’s a valuable reminder, especially in a hugely consumer-driven culture that focuses more on material things than meaningful connections and experiences. You have to create your own culture. Don’t watch TV, don’t read every fashion magazine, and don’t consume too much of the evening news. Find the strength to fill your time with meaningful experiences. The space and time you are occupying at this very moment is LIFE, and if you’re worrying about everyone else then you are disempowered. What is real is YOU and your friends and your family, your loves, your highs, your hopes, your plans, your fears, etc. Too often we’re told that we’re not important, we’re just peripheral to what is. “Get a degree, get a job, get a car, get a house, and keep on getting.” And it’s sad, because someday you’ll wake up and realize you’ve been tricked. And all you’ll want then is to reclaim your mind by getting it out of the hands of the brainwashers who want to turn you into a drone that buys everything that isn’t needed to impress everyone that isn’t important.

10. Everything changes, every second: Embrace change and realize it happens for a reason. It won’t always be obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it. What you have today may become what you had by tomorrow. You never know. Things change, often spontaneously. People and circumstances come and go. Life doesn’t stop for anybody. It moves rapidly and rushes from calm to chaos in a matter of seconds, and happens like this to people every day. It’s likely happening to someone nearby right now. Sometimes the shortest split second in time changes the direction of our lives. A seemingly innocuous decision rattles our whole world like a meteorite striking Earth. Entire lives have been swivelled and flipped upside down, for better or worse, on the strength of an unpredictable event. And these events are always happening. However good or bad a situation is now, it will change. That’s the one thing you can count on. So when life is good, enjoy it. Don’t go looking for something better every second.

 

Happiness never comes to those who don’t appreciate what they have while they have it.