RELATION OF FATHER AND DAUGHTER IN ISLAM

RELATION OF FATHER AND DAUGHTER IN ISLAM

Aalhamdolillah I have been blessed with an amazing father, who is my greatest support during my struggles in life, my greatest been of happiness during my triumphs in life. 

The reason for this sensitive topic is because I have being getting a lot of questions on the “Father -Daughter Relationship in Islam” 

In the Muslim community especially, this is an issue which has been overlooked, ignored, and generally treated with a sense of discomfort. Particularly amongst immigrant families, the relationship between a father and his daughter(s) is often a distant one; girls are encouraged to spend the most of their time with their mothers and other womenfolk.

 A girl might be “Daddy’s Little Princess” as a baby, a toddler, a child, but as she grows closer to puberty she will often find herself left at home instead of taken to the Masjid, attention deflected from her and turned towards her brothers instead (if she has any). Unfortunately, this is a practice which has extremely negative repercussions… for the fathers, the daughters, and indeed the Ummah at large.

 The role of a father in his daughter’s life is pivotal: he is the first man in her life; the one who teaches her what he, a male, thinks of her, a female; and thus shapes her sense of self-worth in the eyes of other men; the one whose behaviour and mannerisms will influence her mental image of “the perfect man” and her choice of life partner (i.e. husband).

In Islam as well as in psychology, the father is meant to be the daughter’s guardian, protecting her from harm, teaching her life skills and strong values. Yet despite all this, far too many fathers play a distant, secondary role in their daughter’s lives. There is a misconception that a father is merely the breadwinner, the supporter of the household, that his role is primarily that of financial provider rather than nurturer. After all, isn’t it the mother’s job to raise the children? Isn’t it the mother’s job to teach her daughters what it is to be a girl, a woman?

Yes, it is – but the mother is not a child’s only parent. She is equally the man’s progeny. His genes are present in her DNA, his flesh and blood are hers. When she looks at him, he is seeing a part of himself; in her behaviour is a reflection of his own attitude and mannerisms. How then can any father willingly minimize his role in his daughter’s life?

Mistakes Fathers Make

 · Not being actively involved from the beginning (birth). Hold your daughter. Carry her. Change her diapers. You can’t expect to develop a bond between yourself and your child if you don’t make the effort to create it. 

 · Not getting involved because you think you’re unprepared. Considering that you’ve already had experience with females thanks to your mother/ sister/ wife, you’re not as unprepared as you think you are, so relax. 

· Distancing yourself from her as she grows older. Girls become women. They change physically. It’s a fact of life, get used to it. Yes, puberty is uncomfortable for everyone involved, but denying it or ignoring it – or worse, ignoring her – just makes things worse. Nobody’s suggesting that you chat with your daughter about the details of her menstrual cycle, but it’d be a lot more helpful if you grabbed the Tylenol and handed her a hot water bottle instead of walking straight past her when you clearly know that she’s in pain. This is just one example of fathers’ denial about their daughters growing up; in truth, there are many ways that fathers demonstrate distance from their daughters. 

 · Having little to no physical contact. The idea that hugging, kissing, or having any other positive physical contact with your daughter is “wrong” or “not manly” is absolutely ridiculous. Not only that, but it’s extremely harmful to your daughter’s development as she grows older. Whether your daughter is five or fifteen, both of you should be comfortable enough to turn to each other for a hug (that lasts longer than five seconds) at any time. 

 · Little to no emotional communication. “Pass the salt” does not qualify as real communication. Make an effort to be involved in your daughter’s everyday life, whether it has to do with school and friends or just how she’s feeling on any given day. Building this bond will create a feeling of security and trust, and your daughter should be able to turn to you for help at times of emotional hurt and conflict. 

 · Not expressing pride in their daughters. Girls crave their father’s praise and approval just as much as boys do. Nothing can thrill a daughter more than knowing that her father sees his own good qualities in her, that he is really and truly proud of her and her accomplishments. 

The greatest, most perfect example of father-daughter relationships can be found in the history of Islam. Has there ever been a father more devoted, a daughter more adoring, than our beloved Messenger (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and Sayyidah Faatimah az-Zahraa’ (radhiAllahu anha)?

 We all know the stories:

 Young Faatimah, scarcely ten years old, wiping filth off of her father’s back and furiously berating the leaders of Quraysh for their behaviour.

 Faatimah, who used to weep at the sight of dust that was thrown upon her father’s head, and would be comforted with the words “Do not cry, my daughter, for Allah shall protect your father!” 

Faatimah, the apple of her father’s eye, of whom he said: “Whoever pleased Fatimah has indeed pleased God and whoever has caused her to be angry has indeed angered God. Fatimah is a part of me. Whatever pleases her pleases me and whatever angers her angers me.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3437; Muslim, 4483)

Noble Faatimah, one of the four greatest women in the world: “The best women in all the world are four: the Virgin Mary, Aasiyaa the wife of Pharoah, Khadijah Mother of the Believers, and Fatimah, daughter of Muhammad.” 

Faatimah, of whom A’isha (radhiAllahu anha) commented, “I have not seen any one of God’s creation resemble the Messenger of God more in speech, conversation and manner of sitting than Fatimah, may God be pleased with her. When the Prophet saw her approaching, he would welcome her, stand up and kiss her, take her by the hand and sit her down in the place where he was sitting.”

The entire Muslim Ummah has benefited directly from this unique father-daughter relationship. How many lessons have been derived from the Seerah, from incidents pertaining to this father and to this daughter?! How much knowledge, how much wisdom, was transmitted from father to daughter, and from that daughter to her own sons, al-Hassan and al-Hussein (radhiAllahu anhum)?! Yaa subhanAllah! How can we ever belittle, neglect, forget the importance of such a bond?

 O Muslim fathers, will you follow in the footsteps of the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ‘alayi wa sallam)? Will you do what you can to help your daughter become the Faatimah az-Zahraa’ of today?

The Month of Muharram

The Month of Muharram

 

It is one of the four sacred months. Allah said, “Verily, the number of months with Allah is twelve months (in a year), so was it ordained by Allah on the Day when He created the heavens and the earth; of them four are Sacred. That is the right religion, so wrong not yourselves therein” (9:36)

Rasulullah (SAW) said, “The best fasting after Ramadan is the month of Allah Muharram, and the best prayer after the obligatory prayer is prayer at night.” (Muslim)

Rasulullah (SAW) said, “The best fasting after Ramadan is the month of Allah, Muharram.” (Muslim)

 Rasulullah (SAW) called this month “the Month of Allah.” When Allah connects His Name to something, it shows the great status and virtue of the subject.

This month contains the day of ‘Aashura (the tenth of Muharram). Ibn Abbas (RA) was asked about fasting on the day of ‘Aashura and he said, “I do not know of any day on Rasulullah (SAW) fasted that was better than this day.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

 This day is known as the day Allah saved Musa (AS) and the Children of Israel from Fir ‘awn.

Rasulullah (SAW) said: “Fasting the day of Arafah I hope Allah will expiate thereby for the year before it and the year after it, and fasting the day of ‘Aashura I hope Allah will expiate thereby for the year that came before it.” (Muslim)

Good Deeds for This Month

Fasting: Muharram lands in winter this year, making it even more easier to fast. The Companions and the righteous predecessors rejoiced in the coming of this season. It is reported that Abu Hurayrah (RA) said, Shall I not point you to comfortable proceeds? The people responded, “And what is that O Abu Hurayrah?” He replied, “Fasting in winter.” Rasulullah (SAW) did not fast in succession for one month other than Ramadan, so it is not recommended to fast the whole month.

The best days to fast in Muharram is the day of ‘Aashura and one day before it or one day after it. Imam Shafi’ee and Imam Ahmad both stated, “It is mustahabb [recommended] to fast both the ninth and the tenth, because Rasulullah (SAW) fasted the tenth and intended to fast the ninth.

In Islam: Women’s Rights

In Islam: Women’s Rights

 In the days before Islam, women were treated like slaves or property. Their personal consent concerning anything related to their well-being was considered unimportant, to such a degree that they were never even treated as a party to a marriage contract. Women were used for one purpose, and then discarded. They had no independence, could own no property and were not allowed to inherit. In times of war, women were treated as part of the prize. Simply put, their condition was unspeakable. In addition, the birth of a daughter in a family was not an occasion for rejoicing, but was regarded with humiliation. The practice of killing female children was uncontrolled.

With the advent of Islam came the verse from the Quran condemning those who practiced female infanticide:

وَإِذَا بُشِّرَ أَحَدُهُم بِٱلۡأُنثَىٰ ظَلَّ وَجۡهُهُ ۥ مُسۡوَدًّ۬ا وَهُوَ كَظِيمٌ۬ (٥٨) يَتَوَٲرَىٰ مِنَ ٱلۡقَوۡمِ مِن سُوٓءِ مَا بُشِّرَ بِهِۦۤ‌ۚ أَيُمۡسِكُهُ ۥ عَلَىٰ هُونٍ أَمۡ يَدُسُّهُ ۥ فِى ٱلتُّرَابِ‌ۗ أَلَا سَآءَ مَا يَحۡكُمُونَ (٥٩)

“And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief! He hides himself from the people because of the evil of that whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonour or bury her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision.” (Surah An-Nahl 16:58-59)

And as part of a description of various events on the Day of Judgment, the Quran mentions:

وَإِذَا ٱلۡمَوۡءُ ۥدَةُ سُٮِٕلَتۡ (٨) بِأَىِّ ذَنۢبٍ۬ قُتِلَتۡ (٩)

“And when the female (infant) buried alive (as the pagan Arabs used to do shall be questioned. For what sin she was killed?” (Surah At-Takwir 81:8-9)

Outside Arabia conditions for women were no better. In India, Egypt, and all European countries in the Dark Ages, women were treated worse than slaves. They were not regarded as human beings but as sort of a sub-species between humans and animals.

Allah Gave the Women Their Rights

The rights of Muslim women were given to us by Allah, who is All-Compassionate, All-Merciful, All-Just, All-Unbiased, All-Knowing and Most Wise. These rights, which were granted to women more than 1400 years ago, and were taught by the perfect example of Rasulullah (SAW), were given by the one Who created us and Who alone knows what rights are best for our female natures. Allah says in the Quran:

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ لَا يَحِلُّ لَكُمۡ أَن تَرِثُواْ ٱلنِّسَآءَ كَرۡهً۬ا‌ۖ وَلَا تَعۡضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذۡهَبُواْ بِبَعۡضِ مَآ ءَاتَيۡتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّآ أَن يَأۡتِينَ بِفَـٰحِشَةٍ۬ مُّبَيِّنَةٍ۬‌ۚ وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِ‌ۚ فَإِن كَرِهۡتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكۡرَهُواْ شَيۡـًٔ۬ا وَيَجۡعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيۡرً۬ا ڪَثِيرً۬ا (١٩)

“O You who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at time of marriage) you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:19)

The most basic right of a woman in Islam is the knowledge and recognition that she never has to ask or demand or fight for her rights which are guaranteed to her by Allah Himself.

Human Rights:

Islam considers a woman to be equal to a man as a human being and as his partner in this life. Women have been created with a soul of the same nature as men. Allah says in the Quran:

يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلنَّاسُ ٱتَّقُواْ رَبَّكُمُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفۡسٍ۬ وَٲحِدَةٍ۬ وَخَلَقَ مِنۡہَا زَوۡجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنۡہُمَا رِجَالاً۬ كَثِيرً۬ا وَنِسَآءً۬‌ۚ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ ٱلَّذِى تَسَآءَلُونَ بِهِۦ وَٱلۡأَرۡحَامَ‌ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيۡكُمۡ رَقِيبً۬ا (١)

“O mankind! Be dutiful to your Lord, Who created you from a single person (Adam), and from him (Adam) He created his wife (Eve), and from them both He created many men and women and fear Allah through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship). Surely, Allah is Ever and All-Watcher over you.” (Surah Al-Nisa 4:1)

And in the words of Rasulullah (SAW): “Assuredly, women are the twin halves of men.”

Islam does not blame Eve alone for the First Sin. The Quran makes it very clear that both Adam and Eve were tempted, that they both sinned and were both forgiven after their repentance. Allah says in the Quran:

فَوَسۡوَسَ لَهُمَا ٱلشَّيۡطَـٰنُ لِيُبۡدِىَ لَهُمَا مَا وُ ۥرِىَ عَنۡہُمَا مِن سَوۡءَٲتِهِمَا وَقَالَ مَا نَہَٮٰكُمَا رَبُّكُمَا عَنۡ هَـٰذِهِ ٱلشَّجَرَةِ إِلَّآ أَن تَكُونَا مَلَكَيۡنِ أَوۡ تَكُونَا مِنَ ٱلۡخَـٰلِدِينَ (٢٠) وَقَاسَمَهُمَآ إِنِّى لَكُمَا لَمِنَ ٱلنَّـٰصِحِينَ (٢١) فَدَلَّٮٰهُمَا بِغُرُورٍ۬‌ۚ فَلَمَّا ذَاقَا ٱلشَّجَرَةَ بَدَتۡ لَهُمَا سَوۡءَٲتُہُمَا وَطَفِقَا يَخۡصِفَانِ عَلَيۡہِمَا مِن وَرَقِ ٱلۡجَنَّةِ‌ۖ وَنَادَٮٰهُمَا رَبُّہُمَآ أَلَمۡ أَنۡہَكُمَا عَن تِلۡكُمَا ٱلشَّجَرَةِ وَأَقُل لَّكُمَآ إِنَّ ٱلشَّيۡطَـٰنَ لَكُمَا عَدُوٌّ۬ مُّبِينٌ۬ (٢٢) قَالَا رَبَّنَا ظَلَمۡنَآ أَنفُسَنَا وَإِن لَّمۡ تَغۡفِرۡ لَنَا وَتَرۡحَمۡنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ ٱلۡخَـٰسِرِينَ (٢٣) قَالَ ٱهۡبِطُواْ بَعۡضُكُمۡ لِبَعۡضٍ عَدُوٌّ۬‌ۖ وَلَكُمۡ فِى ٱلۡأَرۡضِ مُسۡتَقَرٌّ۬ وَمَتَـٰعٌ إِلَىٰ حِينٍ۬ (٢٤) قَالَ فِيہَا تَحۡيَوۡنَ وَفِيهَا تَمُوتُونَ وَمِنۡہَا تُخۡرَجُونَ (٢٥)

“Then Shaytaan whispered suggestions to them both in order to uncover that which was hidden from them of their private parts (before); he said: “Your Lord did not forbid you this tree save you should become angels or become of the immortals.” And he (Satan) swore by Allah to them both (saying): “Verily, I am one of the sincere well-wishers for you both.” So he mislead them with deception. Then when they tasted of the tree, that which was hidden from them of their shame (private parts) became manifest to them and they began to stick together the leaves of Paradise over themselves (in order to cover their shame). And their Lord called out to them (saying): “Did I not forbid you that tree and tell you: Verily, Satan is an open enemy unto you?” They said: “Our Lord! We have wronged ourselves. If You forgive us not, and bestow not upon us Your Mercy, we shall certainly be of the losers.” (Allah) said: “Get down, one of you an enemy to the other (i.e. Adam, Eve, and Satan, etc.). On earth will be a dwelling-place for you and an enjoyment, – for a time.” He said: “Therein you shall live, and therein you shall die, and from it you shall be brought out (i.e. resurrected).” (Surah Al-A’raf 7:20-25)

In Islamic law a woman is an independent, unique individual in her own right. She has the same responsibilities towards herself, towards Allah and towards other human beings as the male, and will be punished or rewarded in the Hereafter without discrimination towards her female gender.

Civil Rights:

There is no compulsion in religion according to the Quran:

لَآ إِكۡرَاهَ فِى ٱلدِّينِ‌ۖ قَد تَّبَيَّنَ ٱلرُّشۡدُ مِنَ ٱلۡغَىِّ‌ۚ فَمَن يَكۡفُرۡ بِٱلطَّـٰغُوتِ وَيُؤۡمِنۢ بِٱللَّهِ فَقَدِ ٱسۡتَمۡسَكَ بِٱلۡعُرۡوَةِ ٱلۡوُثۡقَىٰ لَا ٱنفِصَامَ لَهَا‌ۗ وَٱللَّهُ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ (٢٥٦)

“There is no compulsion in religion. Verily, the Right Path has become distinct from the wrong path. Whoever disbelieves in Taghut [anything worshipped other then the Real God (Allah)] and believes in Allah, then he has grasped the most trustworthy handhold that will never break. And Allah is All-Hearer, All-Knower.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:256)

A Muslim woman is not permitted to change her family name to her husband’s name upon marriage. She is always known by her father’s name, as a mark of her own identity. In choosing a marriage partner, her consent to accept or reject any prospective suitor for marriage must be respected. A Muslim woman has the right to seek divorce, if necessary within the laws of Islam.

Muslim Women Have the Right to Go Outside of Her Home

Muslim women are not forbidden from going out in the community, working, or visiting relatives and female friends, if there is no objection from their guardian/husband and they are covered and behave and speak according to Islamic guidelines and, if necessary, escorted by their Mahram (a close male relative). However, a woman’s home should be the main base that she works from. Allah instructed the wife’s of Rasulullah (SAW):

يَـٰنِسَآءَ ٱلنَّبِىِّ لَسۡتُنَّ ڪَأَحَدٍ۬ مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِۚ إِنِ ٱتَّقَيۡتُنَّ فَلَا تَخۡضَعۡنَ بِٱلۡقَوۡلِ فَيَطۡمَعَ ٱلَّذِى فِى قَلۡبِهِۦ مَرَضٌ۬ وَقُلۡنَ قَوۡلاً۬ مَّعۡرُوفً۬ا (٣٢) وَقَرۡنَ فِى بُيُوتِكُنَّ وَلَا تَبَرَّجۡنَ تَبَرُّجَ ٱلۡجَـٰهِلِيَّةِ ٱلۡأُولَىٰۖ وَأَقِمۡنَ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَءَاتِينَ ٱلزَّڪَوٰةَ وَأَطِعۡنَ ٱللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُۚ ۥۤ إِنَّمَا يُرِيدُ ٱللَّهُ لِيُذۡهِبَ عَنڪُمُ ٱلرِّجۡسَ أَهۡلَ ٱلۡبَيۡتِ وَيُطَهِّرَكُمۡ تَطۡهِيرً۬ا (٣٣)

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft in speech, lest he is whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy or evil desire for adultery, etc.) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner. And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance, and offer prayers perfectly (Iqamat-as-Salat), and give Zakat and obey Allah and His Messenger. Allah wishes only to remove Ar-Rijs (evil deeds and sins, etc.) from you, O members of the family [of the Prophet (SAW)], and to purify you with a thorough purification.” (Surah Al-Ahzab 33:32-33)

A Woman in Islam Has the Right to Get an Education

In the words of Rasulullah (SAW): “To seek knowledge is obligatory on every Muslim.”

Muslim here meaning male and female Muslims, as women are the twin halves of men. Rasulullah (SAW) also said: “Whoever follows a way to seek knowledge, Allah will make easy for him a way to paradise.”

A woman in Islam has the right to knowledge and education. Allah encourages women to read and keep up the learning process. He also bestows His mercy upon all who seek knowledge, and gives them high status:

أَمَّنۡ هُوَ قَـٰنِتٌ ءَانَآءَ ٱلَّيۡلِ سَاجِدً۬ا وَقَآٮِٕمً۬ا يَحۡذَرُ ٱلۡأَخِرَةَ وَيَرۡجُواْ رَحۡمَةَ رَبِّهِۦ‌ۗ قُلۡ هَلۡ يَسۡتَوِى ٱلَّذِينَ يَعۡلَمُونَ وَٱلَّذِينَ لَا يَعۡلَمُونَ‌ۗ إِنَّمَا يَتَذَكَّرُ أُوْلُواْ ٱلۡأَلۡبَـٰبِ (٩)

“Is one who is obedient to Allah, prostrating himself or standing (in prayer) during the hours of the night, fearing the Hereafter and hoping for the Mercy of his Lord (like one who disbelieves)? Say: “Are those who know equal to those who know not?” It is only men of understanding who will remember (i.e. get a lesson from Allah’s Signs and Verses).” (Surah Az-Zumar 39:9)

يَـٰٓأَيُّہَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓاْ إِذَا قِيلَ لَكُمۡ تَفَسَّحُواْ فِى ٱلۡمَجَـٰلِسِ فَٱفۡسَحُواْ يَفۡسَحِ ٱللَّهُ لَكُمۡ‌ۖ وَإِذَا قِيلَ ٱنشُزُواْ فَٱنشُزُواْ يَرۡفَعِ ٱللَّهُ ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُواْ مِنكُمۡ وَٱلَّذِينَ أُوتُواْ ٱلۡعِلۡمَ دَرَجَـٰتٍ۬‌ۚ وَٱللَّهُ بِمَا تَعۡمَلُونَ خَبِيرٌ۬ (١١)

“O you who believe! When you are told to make room in the assemblies, (spread out and) make room. Allah will give you (ample) room (from His Mercy). And when you are told to rise up (for prayers, Jihad, or for any other good deed), rise up. Allah will exalt in degree those of you who believe, and those who have been granted knowledge. And Allah is Well-Acquainted with what you do.” (Surah Al-Mujadilah 58:11)

This is referring to religious knowledge, in the first place, and to any other kind of knowledge, in the second place, where one has the intention of benefiting herself, her family and the Islamic society. Additionally, a husband should not forbid his wife from going out of the house to seek basic religious knowledge, unless he is teaching her at home. The Quran advises mankind to pray:

فَتَعَـٰلَى ٱللَّهُ ٱلۡمَلِكُ ٱلۡحَقُّ‌ۗ وَلَا تَعۡجَلۡ بِٱلۡقُرۡءَانِ مِن قَبۡلِ أَن يُقۡضَىٰٓ إِلَيۡكَ وَحۡيُهُ ۥ‌ۖ وَقُل رَّبِّ زِدۡنِى عِلۡمً۬ا (١١٤)

“Then High above all be Allah, the True King. And be not in haste [O Muhammad (SAW)] with the Quran before its revelation is completed to you, and say: My Lord! Increase me in knowledge.” (Surah Ta-Ha 20:114)

Islam Gives Men and Women Equal Rights

In reality, and in Islam, the rights and responsibilities of a woman are equal to those of man, but they are not necessarily identical with them. Equality and sameness are two very different things. I think you’ll agree that, for one thing, women and men are physically very different from one another, although they are equal to each other in other important ways.

In the West, women may be doing the same job that men do, but their wages are often less. The rights of Western women in modern times were not created voluntarily, or out of kindness to the female. The modern Western woman reached her present position by force, and not through natural processes or mutual consent of Divine teachings. She had to force her way, and various circumstances aided her. Shortage of manpower during wars, pressure of economic needs and requirement of industry forced women to leave their homes to work, struggling for their livelihood, to appear equal to men. Whether all women are sincerely pleased with these circumstances, and whether they are happy and satisfied with the results, is a different matter. But the fact remains that whatever rights modern Western women have, they fall short of those of her Muslim counterpart! Islam has given woman what duties her female nature. It gives her full security and protects her against becoming what Western modern women themselves complain against: a “mere sex object.”

The Right to Seek Employment

If you take a look at many societies today, a woman is only valued and considered important if she performs the functions of a man, (while at the same time displaying her feminine attractions to the public). While these women may carry the immense responsibility of bearing and rearing children, you have to admit that they may still be at par with men in nearly every area of life. The result is the present-day confusion concerning sex role differentiation, resulting in very large numbers of divorces and emotionally distraught children. In Islam, however, the value and importance of women in society and the true measure of their success as human beings, is measured with completely different criteria: their fear of Allah  and obedience to Him, and fulfilment of the duties He has entrusted them with, particularly that of bearing, rearing and teaching children. Nevertheless, Islam is a practical religion, and responds to human needs and life situations. Many women need, or wish, to work for various reasons. For example, they may possess a needed skill, such as a teacher or a doctor. While Islam does not prohibit women working outside the home, it does stipulate that the following restrictions be followed to safeguard the dignity and honour of women and the purity and stability of the Islamic society, (the conduct of women, after all, is the “backbone” of any society):

  • Outside employment should not come before, or seriously interfere with her responsibilities as wife and mother.
  • Her work should not be a source of friction within the family, and the husband’s consent is required in order to eliminate later disagreements. If she is not married, she must have her guardian’s consent.
  • Her appearance, manner and tone of speech and overall behaviour should follow Islamic guidelines. These include: restraining her glances in relation to any men near the work place, wearing correct Islamic dress, avoiding men, not walking in a provocative manner, and not using make-up or perfume in public.
  • Her job should not be one which causes moral corruption in society, or involve any prohibited trade or activity, affect her own religion, morals, dignity and good behaviour, or subject her to temptations.
  • Her job should not be one which is mixing and associating with men.
  • A woman should try to seek employment in positions which require a woman’s special skills, or which relate to the needs of women and children, such as teaching, nursing other women, midwifery, medicine with specialization’s like pediatric or obstetrics-gynecology.

A Muslim Woman is Required to Dress a Certain Way When She Goes Out in Public

For a Muslim woman, her modest dress is an expression of a universal sisterhood. An Islamic dress also liberates the Muslim woman, and she is then automatically respected for her mind instead of her body. Simply put, she retains her dignity! It is like saying: I am a respectful woman. I am not for every man to look at, touch, or speak to. I am protected, exactly like a precious white pearl which, if touched by everyone, will become black and dirty. A woman’s modest dress protects society from adultery and other forms of illegal sexual relations that lead to the breakup of families and corruption of society.

THE RIGHT OF A MUSLIM WOMAN IS TO BE RESPECTED FOR HER MIND AND FOR BEING HER OWN PERSON

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A True Story With A Moral: A Young Boy And A Gang Of Thieves.

A True Story With A Moral: A Young Boy And A Gang Of Thieves.

This is a story of a young boy who once departed on a journey for the pursuit of knowledge. His mother gave him forty dinars for expenses. She also made him promise that he would speak the truth under all circumstances.  Around Hamadan, a group of robbers intercepted the caravan. One of the robbers came to him and asked him what he had. He replied, “Forty dinars”. The robber did not take him seriously and left him alone. Another of them put the same question to him and again got the reply, “Forty dinars”. He got hold of him and took him to their leader who asked him the same question and then came the same reply, “Forty dinars”. He asked, “Who has compelled you to speak the truth?”  

The young boy repeated to him the promise he had given his mother. On hearing this, the leader was overwhelmed with awe. He tore off his clothes as if he was mad and said, “You do not violate the pledge that you have given to your mother. Here am I, unmindful of the word I have given to the Almighty, the Exalted — I violate it and am not afraid in the least.”  Then ashamed and remorseful, he instructed his henchmen to return all that they had snatched from the caravan-riders. Then he said, “I repent to the Almighty at your hands”. He and All his associates repented and changed their lives.

This young boy was no other than the honourable Shaikh Abdul Qadir Jilani(R.A.).

Moral: Truthfulness under any circumstances, certainly has it’s merits; as illustrated by the above story. Lying is the worst of habits. We must check it strictly in ourselves and arouse in our children a dislike for lies. It is our duty to keep them away from the bad habits of lying and hypocrisy. Islam declares that lying is a sign of the hypocrite. (Bukhari and Muslim)

A liar invites the wrath of Allah the Exalted, and His punishment. (Muslim)

A person who lies, often, is a habitual liar.( Bukhari and  Muslim)

Therefore, create in OURSELVES AND OUR CHILDREN the hatred for falsehood and stop them from telling lies. Warn them of the harmful results of lying. Let us take the lead, be truthful ourselves and refrain from lying.  Do not tell lies even to quieten children or to encourage them to do something, otherwise they will become used to it. The result will be that they will no longer trust you. Then, sermon and advice will have no effect on them. Our foremost guardian, Our Rasulullah (SAW) has cautioned us from telling lies even by way of jest or in encouragement or just for the fun of it. This will guarantee that not even one lie is recorded against our names with the Almighty. It is also a lie to tell a child, “Take, hold this!” without actually intending to give him anything! (AHMAD).

The Tongue And The Heart.

The Tongue And The Heart.

“Whoever believes in Allah and the last day should speak good or keep silent.” (Sahih al-Bukhari and Muslim)

The tongue expresses what is in the heart. If a person’s heart is good you see it in their saying.  If the tongue is used correctly then it has its blessing but if used incorrectly it has its dangers. Allah has given us this tool (the tongue) to communicate and it is a blessing form Allah which must be used correctly.

The gratitude we should show for this great blessing should include, using it for the obedience to Allah for reading the Quran (and good Islamic materials), for speaking good, such as, enjoining good and forbidding the evil and in teaching the ignorant, in Dhikr, in worship, in sincere advice to our brothers and sisters and in many other things which enable us to get closer to Allah. It is true that ONE saying may enter a person into the fire and one saying may save a person from the fire and enter one into paradise.

The prohibitions of the tongue are that you do not lie, abuse, use foul language, backbite, and do not slander. The tongue is protected by the teeth and then the lips which should act as a prison when indulging in loose talk. Allah says in the Qur’an:

قَدۡ أَفۡلَحَ ٱلۡمُؤۡمِنُونَ (١) ٱلَّذِينَ هُمۡ فِى صَلَاتِہِمۡ خَـٰشِعُونَ (٢) وَٱلَّذِينَ هُمۡ عَنِ ٱللَّغۡوِ مُعۡرِضُونَ (٣)

“Successful indeed are the believers. Those who offer their prayers with all solemnity and full submissiveness. And those who turn away from Al-Laghw (dirty, false, evil vain talk, falsehood, and all that Allah has forbidden)” (Surah Al-Mu’minun 23:1-3)

Here Allah mentions the words “turn away from” not “leave” which shows that, refraining from vain talk is a characteristic of the believers.

Imam Shafi(ra) said, “If you wish to speak then it is upon you to think before you speak. If you think there is good in it then you should speak and if not then do not speak.”

One searching for salvation against vain talk should ask themselves:

  • Will this saying of mine please Allah?
  • Will this saying of mine bring me closer to Allah?
  • Does this saying earn with it obedience to Allah?

If so then speak otherwise on should keep silent.

Sahl ibn Sa’ad (RA) reported Rasulullah (SAW) said: “Whomever guards what is between his jaws and legs, I will guarantee him paradise.” (Sahih al-Bukhari and Muslim)

To Be Caring And Loving In A Marriage.

To Be Caring And Loving In A Marriage.

To make a beautiful marriage we should learn from the marriage Rasulullah (SAW).

  • Know their feelings: Rasulullah (SAW) told his wife Ayesha (RA) that he knew she was pleased with him when she said: By the God of Muhammad (SAW), and when she was angry she used to say: By the God of Ebrahim. Spouses need to be aware of each other’s feelings. This will help to resolve differences.
  • Consoling: On a journey, the wife of Rasulullah (SAW), Saffiya (RA), was late. Rasulullah (SAW) received her while she was crying and wiped her tears with his hands and tried his utmost to calm her.
  • Laying in her Lap: Rasulullah (SAW) would recline in the lap of Ayesha (RA) even if was menstruating.
  • Combing Hair: Ayesha (RA) would comb Rasulullah (SAW) hair and wash it. Love in marriage sees each spouse doing things for the other. This has a huge psychological impact.
  • Kiss: Rasulullah (SAW) would kiss his wife regularly, even when entering home or leaving for Salaah. For a marriage to survive, love has to be expressed.
  • Compliments: Once the Rasulullah (SAW) was gazing at the world within his wife’s eyes. He then said to her: “How white are your eyes.”

May Almighty Allah grant us the ability to practice upon the Noble teachings of our Beloved Rasulullah (SAW) Aameen  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Inspirational Ahadith.

 Inspirational Ahadith.

  • Acquire knowledge, it enables its professor to distinguish right from wrong; it lights the way to heaven. It is our friend in the desert, our company in solitude and companion when friendless. It guides us to happiness, it sustains us in misery, and it is an ornament amongst friends and armour against enemies.
  • A Muslim who plants a tree or sows a field, from which man, birds and animals can eat, is committing an act of charity. (Muslim)
  • There is a polish for everything that takes away rust; and the polish for the heart is the remembrance of Allah. (Bukhari)
  • What actions are most excellent? To gladden the heart of human beings, to feed the hungry, to help the afflicted, to lighten the sorrow of the sorrowful, and to remove the sufferings of the injured. (Bukhari)
  • If you put your whole trust in Allah, as you ought, He most certainly will satisfy your needs, as He satisfies those of the birds. They come out hungry in the morning, but return full to their nests. (Tirmidhi)
  • When Allah created his creatures He wrote above His throne: ‘Verily, my Compassion overcomes my wrath. (Bukhari & Muslim)
  • Allah will not give mercy to anyone, except those who give mercy to other creatures. (Tirmidhi)
  • “Son, if you are able, keep your heart from morning till night and from night till morning free from malice towards anyone.” Then Rasulullah (SAW) said: “O my son! This is one of my laws, and he, who loves my laws verily, loves me.” (Bukhari)
  • Say what is true, although it may be bitter and displeasing to people. (Baihaqi)
  • Kindness is a mark of faith, and whoever is not kind has no faith. (Muslim)
  • When you see a person who has been given more than you in money and beauty, look to those, who have been given less. (Muslim)
  • If you do not feel ashamed of anything, then you can do whatever you like. (Bukhari)
  • “O Lord, grant me your love, grant me that I love those who love you; grant me, that I might do the deeds that win your love. Make your love dearer to me than the love of myself, my family and wealth.” (Tirmidhi)
  • It is better to sit alone than in company with the bad; and it is better still to sit with the good than alone. It is better to speak to a seeker of knowledge than to remain silent; but silence is better than idle words. (Bukhari)
  • Verily, a man teaching his child manners is better than giving one bushel of grain in alms. (Muslim)
  • Whoever is kind, Allah will be kind to him; therefore be kind to man on the earth. He who is in heaven will show mercy on you. (Tirmidhi)
  • It is difficult for a man laden with riches to climb the steep path that leads to bliss. (Muslim)
  • Once a man, who was passing through a road, found a branch of a tree with thorns obstructing it. The man removed the thorns from the way. Allah thanked him and forgave his sins. (Bukhari)
  • Who are the learned? Those who practice what they know. (Bukhari)
  • Allah has revealed to me, that you must be humble. No one should boast over one another, and no one should oppress another. (Muslim)
  • Who is the most favoured of Allah? He, from whom the greatest good comes to His creatures. (Bukhari)
  • A true Muslim is thankful to Allah in prosperity, and resigned to His will in adversity. (Muslim)
  • A Muslim who meets with others and shares their burdens is better than one who lives a life of seclusion and contemplation. (Muslim)
  • Serve Allah, as you would if you could see Him; although you cannot see Him, He can see you. (Muslim)
  • Allah does not look at your appearance or your possessions; but He looks at your heart and your deeds. (Muslim)
  • The best richness is the richness of the soul. (At the field of Tabuk, Syria, Rajab 9 A.H.: Bukhari)
  • Keep yourselves far from envy; because it eats up and takes away good actions, like a fire eats up and burns wood. (Abu Dawud)
  • Much silence and a good disposition, there are no two things better than these. (Bukhari)
  • Verily, Allah is mild and is fond of mildness, and He gives to the mild what He does not give to the harsh. (Muslim)
  • Whoever loves to meet Allah, Allah loves to meet him. (Bukhari)
  • Once Rasulullah (SAW) was asked: “Tell us, which action is dearest to Allah?’ Rasulullah (SAW) answered: “To say your prayer at its proper time.” Again Rasulullah (SAW) was asked: “What comes next?” Rasulullah (SAW) said: “To show kindness to parents.” ‘Then what?’ Rasulullah (SAW) was asked, Rasulullah (SAW) replied: “To strive for the cause of Allah!” (Bukhari)
  • When two persons are together, two of them must no whisper to each other, without letting the third hear; because it would hurt him. (Bukhari & Muslim)
  • Verily, it is one of the respects to Allah to honor an old man. (Bukhari)
  • All Muslims are like a foundation, each strengthening the other; in such a way they do support each other. (Bukhari & Muslim)
  • Strive always to excel in virtue and truth. (Bukhari)
  • You will not enter paradise until you have faith; and you will not complete your faith till you love one another. (Muslim)
  • He, who wishes to enter paradise at the best gate, must please his father and mother. (Bukhari & Muslim)
  •  I am leaving two things among you, and if you cling to them firmly you will never go astray; one is the Book of Allah and the other is my way of life. (Farewell Pilgrimage)
  • Allah is One and likes Unity. (Muslim)
  • The best of alms is that, which the right hand gives and the left hand knows not of. (Bukhari)
  • The perfect Muslim is not a perfect Muslim, who eats till he is full and leaves his neighbors hungry. (Baihaqi)
  • He is not of us who is not affectionate to the little ones, and does not respect the old; and he is not of us, who does not order which is lawful, and prohibits that which is unlawful. (Tirmidhi)
  • No man is a true believer unless he desires for his brother that, what he desires for himself. (Bukhari & Muslim)
  • To strive for the cause of Allah from daybreak to noon and sunset is better than the goods and enjoyment of the whole worldly life. (Bukhari)
  • Be not like the hypocrite who, when he talks, tells lies; when he gives a promise, he breaks it; and when he is trusted, he proves dishonest. (Bukhari & Muslim)
  • The proof of a Muslim’s sincerity is that he pays no heed to that, which is not his business. (Tirmidhi)
  • Do you know what is better than charity and fasting and prayer? It is keeping peace and good relations between people, as quarrels and bad feelings destroy mankind. (Muslims & Bukhari)
  • Acquire the knowledge and impart it to the people. Acquire the knowledge of Fara’id (laws of inheritance) and teach it to the people, learn the Qur’an and teach it to the people; for I am a person who has to depart this world and the knowledge will be taken away and turmoil will appear to such an extent that two people will not agree in regard to a case of inheritance distribution and find none who would decide between them.  (Transmitted by Darimi and Daraqutni. Al-Tirmidhi #107)
  • The worldly comforts are not for me. I am like a traveller, who takes a rest under a tree in the shade and then goes on his way. (Tirmidhi)