Overcoming Fears Connected With Negative Past Experiences.
Some of our fears arise due to the situations we have lived through; for example, if you are driving a car and you have an accident. Then you take some time to drive again, because the memory of the accident awakens the fear of having another one or reliving the one you had. The person that has never had a car accident gets in the car with confidence, because they do not have that scene recorded, since they haven’t lived through it.
There are fears that we carry within us that are not of the present. Something happened to us in the dark and we are now afraid of the dark. Fears in relationships: you opened your heart, you fell in love and, after a time, you experienced pain, you felt hurt, misunderstood, manipulated, deceived or mistreated, and now you no longer open your heart for anything; it is closed off with the shields that you yourself have created.
To overcome this kind of fear due to experiences you have lived through, you have to come to terms with your past and accept it fully. You cannot change your past; lamenting the past doesn’t help you; complaining about the past doesn’t benefit you. Those shields brought about by fears do not disappear unless you do a deep cleansing. Begin to heal your experience of the past. Part of the past is healed with forgiveness. Without forgiving, you cannot forget.
The work with oneself to see what aspects of your past burden you and coming to terms with those aspects, requires silence, reflection and meditation. When you come to terms with your own past, you can let go of it and be free of it, not be afraid that the past will come back to you again. If not, sometimes, it is like a shadow that follows you. If your house was robbed once, the shadow follows you that, perhaps, you might be robbed again. If they hurt you, you fear it will happen again. Sometimes that experience presents itself in dreams, in the subconscious or in present attitudes.
Reliving the past in your mind, you do not fully enjoy the present. You have to accept the pieces of your past so that they do not continue to generate upsets. Accept that you had to live through them and live the present with a constructive vision of the future. And Inshallah the following morning, when you meditate and study a little bit of spiritual knowledge, you will often receive answers.