Building Our Self-Esteem.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love & affection.”
Self-esteem is built upon the experience of success. Think of it as a circular process. When people experience success, they grow in self-confidence. As self-confidence grows, they feel empowered to face new challenges. As they succeed in confronting each challenge, they develop the capacity to cope with whatever life throws their way. That feeling leads to further growth of self-confidence, self-reliance and self-esteem
To Maintain Healthy Self-Esteem:
- · Celebrate our strengths and achievements.
- · Forgive ourselves for our mistakes.
- · Don’t dwell on our weaknesses, every human has them.
- · Change the way you talk to ourselves– stop putting ourselves down!
- · Be sure that we are not judging ourselves against unreasonable standards.
- · Beating ourselves for our weaknesses is self-defeating. Use that energy for positive thoughts about ourselves.
People With High Self-Esteem Are:
- · Able to accept and learn from their own mistakes.
- · Confident without being obnoxious or conceited.
- · Not devastated by criticism.
- · Not overly defensive when questioned.
- · Not easily defeated by setbacks and obstacles.
- · Unlikely to feel a need to put others down.
- · Open and assertive in communicating their needs.
- · Not overly worried about failing or looking foolish.
- · Not harshly or destructively critical of themselves.
- · Not aggressively driven to prove themselves.
- · Able to laugh at themselves, not taking themselves too seriously.
Why Do You Think We Have So Little Strengths Worth Celebrating?
- · Because everyone has always pointed out our shortcomings?
- · Because we rarely get any positive feedback for a job well done?
- · Because the things we do well are so familiar to ourselves that we take them for granted?
- · Because we have learned to focus only on our mistakes?
When We Make A Mistake, Do We Say?
- · What an idiot! How can I be so stupid!
- · Can’t I get anything right! What a loser!
- · There I go again! I am really not up to it, am I?
Who else has talked to us this way in the past? Are we still listening to them? We can’t change our past, but we can change the way we talk to ourselves today.
We should start by making a LONG list of all the good things we have ever done. If we catch ourselves saying nasty things to ourselves, then we STOP.
Recite our list of achievements to ourselves. Convince ourselves to be proud of what we have done and of what we are working on doing, on anything we have done for another person, or on how well we manage our time, our money, our friends, our schedule, etc.
Affirmations for Self-Esteem:
- · There are many things I do successfully. (Write them down if we have to.)
- · I can improve my self-esteem by meeting my own expectations.
- · I don’t have to strive for perfection to approve of myself.
- · My worth as a human being does not depend on achieving a perfect weight, or by being the smartest, or the most popular, or the fastest, etc…
- · I alone am responsible for the decisions I make.
- · I am a unique individual.
- · Persistence will help me succeed.
- · Every mistake I make can be an opportunity to learn. I can’t be afraid to make mistakes; this is how I learn to improve.
- · I deserve support and will ask for help when I need it.
- · I have the power to forgive myself for past mistakes.
- · I will treat myself as someone special.
- · I determine what success means to me.
What is Success?
- · To laugh often and much.
- · To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children.
- · To earn the appreciation of honest critics.
- · And endure the betrayal of false friends or family etc..
- · To appreciate beauty.
- · To find the best in others.
- · To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition.
- · To know that one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
“Success comes not from the avoidance of failure. Most of the time, success is achieved only when there has been enough failure.”