Reconciling And Making Peace Between People
Many of us face something similar several times in our lives……our families and loved ones arguing over something so trivial, our friends not talking to each other over the littlest of things, people shunning each other and staying angry, even years after the matter took place, to the extent that sometimes they don’t even remember why they are fighting! We all know people who may not be openly fighting and arguing, yet we know that there is definitely some kind of either hostility or jealousy between them, or even some kind of misunderstanding amongst themselves. Should a Muslim Stand by and watch? Most definitely not. It is required from us in such a situation is that we make peace between them for the sake of Allah. Allah Thee Almighty says:
إِنَّمَا الْمُؤْمِنُونَ إِخْوَةٌ فَأَصْلِحُوا بَيْنَ أَخَوَيْكُمْ ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُرْحَمُونَ
“The Believers are but a single Brotherhood: So make peace and reconciliation between your two (contending) brothers; and fear Allah, that ye may receive Mercy.” (Surah Hujurat 49:10)
Noble, it is indeed the act of making peace and reconciling between two arguing parties. In fact, it is superior to voluntary fasting and Sunnah and nafl prayer. Rasulullah (SAW) said: “Shall I not tell you of something that is better than fasting, prayer and charity? The Companions (RA) said: “Yes.” Rasulullah (SAW) said: “Reconciling between two people, for the corruption of that which is between the hearts is the shaver (destroyer). It is the shaver, and I do not say that it shaves hair, rather that it shaves religious commitment.” (Al-Tirmidhi) Subhânallah! Better than fasting, prayer and charity! It show’s us how important it is for us to reconcile between people. In fact, it is so important that, although lying is haraam in and of itself, yet, Allah has permitted even lying in order to reconcile between people and to remove discord and conflict. This is because of the great negative consequences conflicts and arguments have, on the religious commitment of individuals as well as communities.
Umm Kulthoom said that she heard Rasulullah (SAW) say: “He is not a liar who reconciles between people, conveying good messages and saying good things.” (Al Bukhari, Muslim)
Umm Kulthoom also said: “I did not hear him (Rasulullah (SAW)) grant any concession concerning anything that the people say of lies except in three cases: reconciling between people, war, and what a man says to his wife or a woman says to her husband. (Muslim)
Reconciling between disputing parties is a means of earning great rewards. Allah says:
لَا خَيْرَ فِي كَثِيرٍ مِنْ نَجْوَاهُمْ إِلَّا مَنْ أَمَرَ بِصَدَقَةٍ أَوْ مَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ إِصْلَاحٍ بَيْنَ النَّاسِ ۚ وَمَنْ يَفْعَلْ ذَٰلِكَ ابْتِغَاءَ مَرْضَاتِ اللَّهِ فَسَوْفَ نُؤْتِيهِ أَجْرًا عَظِيمًا
“In most of their secret talks there is no good: But if one exhorts to a deed of charity or justice or conciliation between men, (Secrecy is permissible): To him who does this, seeking the good pleasure of Allah, We shall soon give a reward of the highest (value).” (Surah Nisaa 4: 114)
While making peace between disputing parties, do remember that Islam has a particular methodology and approach to this issue. It is not a matter of simple “conflict resolution”. We cannot simply negotiate and compromise until we reach something agreeable to both of them because it may very well be unjust or not in accordance to Islam. As Muslims, we add Allah into the equation. Instead of evaluating the two positions in relation to each other, we have to examine each of them in relation to what pleases Allah. if you know anybody out there, arguing, not talking to one another, shunning each other, or simply having distrust and ill feeling towards some other fellow Muslims, go ahead and make peace between them. Do it for the sake of Allah, remembering the reward and asking Him to accept it from you. Not only will it bring you immense reward and forgiveness from Him, but it will be one of the noblest things that you would do.
Ali ibn Abi Talib (RA) said: “One of the things which bring forgiveness is making your fellow Muslim happy.” Anas said: “Whoever made peace between two, Allah gives him for every word the (reward of) freeing a slave.” Abu Umamah said: “Walk a mile to visit a sick person and walk two miles to visit your brother for the sake of Allah and walk three miles to make peace between two.”
We should remind ourselves and them that a Muslim should avoid division and difference completely. Avoidance, hatred, rejection and envy all destroy the Muslim community and render it vulnerable to all forms of fitnah. However, if someone does get into such situations of dispute, then they have a maximum of three days after which they should solve the dispute and end the bad feeling between them. Rasulullah (SAW) said: “Do not boycott one another, do not turn away from one another, do not hate one another and do not envy one another. Be slaves of Allah, brothers. And it is not allowed for a Muslim to avoid another for more than three days.” (Al-Bukhari, Muslim)
“Oh Allah remove all forms of enmity and ill feelings amongst us and enable us to love each other for Your sake Alone. Aameen Thuma Aameen.”