Bitter or Not? ….No I Am Very Hurt

Bitter or Not? ….No I am Very Hurt

As sala’amu alaikum

I had received a comment from a reader (Amuslim – “f”) who was concerned about, my post.( https://amuslimsistermaria200327.wordpress.com/2009/10/14/clarification/ )I have not received the commenter’s true email address as I had posted a post requesting it. Never the less here is the comment followed by my answer, I hope that Insha’Allah this will remove the doubts that you are having.

Walaikum as salaam 

بنت محمد ،

Bint Muhammed.

“O’Allah do not call me to account for what they say, and forgive me for what they have no knowledge of, and make me better than they imagine. Aameen Aameen “>Thuma Aameen”

Hello Muslimah,
I have been reading you blog for a while now. I am not sure what to believe. At the beginning of your blogging you said that you communicate with your husband often and now you are saying that his denying your marriage. I am somewhat confused as to who is telling the truth. It seems to me like you just want to humiliate or get back at your husband. I don’t know you nor your husband, but why don’t you just move on with your life. A true Muslimah should not behave in such a way that ruins a person’s life. It seems to me like you are trying to ruin your husband’s life. I am not sure what he did to you, but for the sake of Allah why don’t you forgive him and stop this nonsense. I am just saying this because you sound like bitter person.

 As sala’amu alaikum

First off all please forgive me for not posting your comment, as it was deleted by another sister who at times post the comments, she was mad at it, but not to worry I am not, I honestly do not want to go into personal details with someone I do not know, but your comment needs or is in want of an answer.

As for communication let me add an abstract from my post Starting my blog, was also due to the fact my husband thought we could not talk on many issues (not that he tried to talk, or ask my view or thoughts) so thought I could raise my thoughts and “talk to him “thru my blog, but you know I do not honestly know if he ever reads it.”  I hope that would answer you question and ease your doubts. Should you have the time please read the following post https://amuslimsistermaria200327.wordpress.com/2009/06/27/a-humble-word-of-gratification/

It is not about “getting back at my husband” why would I harm a man to whom I have pledged to live my life with pleasing Allah? I am not trying humiliate my husband nor am getting back at him. If you have read my husband’s blog there are a number of times where the Admin says my husband is not married (when he most certainly is) , and my husband does not correct that error, Allah says:

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا كُونُوا قَوَّامِينَ بِالْقِسْطِ شُهَدَاءَ لِلَّهِ وَلَوْ عَلَىٰ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَوِ الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَالْأَقْرَبِينَ ۚ إِنْ يَكُنْ غَنِيًّا أَوْ فَقِيرًا فَاللَّهُ أَوْلَىٰ بِهِمَا ۖ فَلَا تَتَّبِعُوا الْهَوَىٰ أَنْ تَعْدِلُوا ۚ وَإِنْ تَلْوُوا أَوْ تُعْرِضُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرًا

“Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swerve.” (Surah Nisa 4:135)

All I am doing is going by the word of Allah, and standing out for my marriage, my husband and myself, are you telling me to go against the word of Allah? Am I being advised to deny my marriage? Is defending my honor is wrong? If my husband’s life is in ruins please do not blame me for that. You say that I should move on with my life… how am I to do it? When my husband is there and I am here (two different time zones) my place is with my husband that is with who I should be with and it how my life would move on. Forgiveness for hurt is easy to be done, but when promises and oaths are taken over and over again, and then broken, forgiveness for that is very hard to do. Try waiting 2 years-50=771 days (yes I count each day) for your spouse, your love one to come and take you to your home. I am sorry if I sound a bitter person to you, rest assured bitter I am not, very and extremely hurt and broken I am. Most surly you do not know me, but are you sure you do not know my husband? As you reside in the city he does, you are at the university, and where on Friday nights Fiqh Classes take place (The class started on January 24, and meets every Friday from 5:30 to 7pm in room 323 in the Olpin Union Building, University of Utah. Classes restarting  on October 23th. which will be Tafsir & Fiqh class) Here is the proof, before I am called a liar:

Hostname:

hci-100-215-57.hci.utah.edu

ISP:

University of Utah

Organization:

University of Utah

Proxy:

None detected

Type:

Cable/DSL

Blacklist:

Top of Form

 

 

 

Geo-Location Information

Country:

United States

State/Region:

UT

City:

Salt Lake City

Latitude:

40.7855

Longitude:

-111.7367

Area Code:

801

Not to worry I would take that as a typo error from your side. Please if I had offended you please forgive me.

Remember the Ummah in your duas.

Walaikum as salaam 

بنت محمد ،

Bint Muhammed.

“O’Allah do not call me to account for what they say, and forgive me for what they have no knowledge of, and make me better then they imagine. Aameen Aameen “>Thuma Aameen”

Rumi said “The Lord lives in every heart. So if you desire to win your Lord’s pleasure, do not break anyone’s heart”

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8 comments on “Bitter or Not? ….No I Am Very Hurt

  1. Suhail says:

    Sister Muslimah,I have been reading your blog from the very start, confident you most surely are, my sisters always talk about your blog, and you as a person, quoting my elder sister “I wish I had the patience, confidence and a heart as clean as Sister Muslimah, if I had been going through what she had been through, I would have never had made it.” Sister Muslimah as for showing your hurt, yes you should and it is not a weakness, in fact to me it is a quality of goodness, it shows you care.
    May Allah take you from strength to strength, May Allah shower your life with much happiness, love and tranquility.Aameen.
    Suhail.

    • muslimah says:

      As sala’amu alaikum
      Jazakumullah for the kind words and duas.May Allah Thee Almighty reward and bless you and your family.Aameen.
      Walaikum as Salaam
      “O Allah, make my love for You the most beloved thing to me, and Your displeasure with me the most fearful thing to me, and instill in me a passion for meeting You; when you have given the people of the world the pleasures of their world, make the coolness of my eyes (pleasure) in worshipping You. Aameen Thuma Aameen”

  2. Bie says:

    ASA,
    Don’t you think that perhaps you deserve better? I totally admire your blog and your resistance, but I think you’re letting him see your pain. When someone hurts you, you don’t show that they’ve hurt them, but instead you continue on as though things are fine. I might not know you, but I do think you are good person worthy of much, much, MUCH more.

    • muslimah says:

      As sala’amu alaikum
      Jazakumullah for your kind words, when in a marriage your pain should be your spouse pain as well, but sadly some don’t have or did not have spouses like that, to me letting my spouse (who is now my ex spouse) know how I feel was important to me.
      Again I thank you for your kind words.May Allah Thee Almighty reward you.Ameen.
      Walaikum as salaam
      “O Allah, make my love for You the most beloved thing to me, and Your displeasure with me the most fearful thing to me, and instill in me a passion for meeting You; when you have given the people of the world the pleasures of their world, make the coolness of my eyes (pleasure) in worshipping You. Aameen Thuma Aameen”

  3. tiigerr says:

    salam alikom
    jazak allah kher

  4. Muhammad says:

    What a really beautiful answer! May allah keep you happy always and may allah make all easy. amen

  5. Qasim says:

    I read your post from a mans point of view [i’m a man after all]. I was touched by your love that you still have after all the hurt, counting everyday since your husband is gone wow that is true dedicated love, and your very touching letter [27th june] I hope that your husband sees your love, and cares for you the way he should. After reading your blog, I had read your husbands, and you right there are very much number of times admin denying your marriage so Sister you have done the RIGHT thing by hearing and going by the word of Allah. May Allah reward you.Amin.

  6. Amazing says:

    Your love is deep and strong for your husband, may he see the depth and the strengh of your love, may allah grant you all the happiness that you deserve. Amen
    Muslimah i truly think your are AMAZING.

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