As sala’amu alaikum

Basically this is one heartbreaking post for me to write, but I have to do it, due to a post comments on other blog, regarding my husband and our marriage. Please remember this post I am writing is based on truth and guarding my and my loved ones honor and honesty as Allah says:

 يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا كُونُوا قَوَّامِينَ بِالْقِسْطِ شُهَدَاءَ لِلَّهِ وَلَوْ عَلَىٰ أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَوِ الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَالْأَقْرَبِينَ ۚ إِنْ يَكُنْ غَنِيًّا أَوْ فَقِيرًا فَاللَّهُ أَوْلَىٰ بِهِمَا ۖ فَلَا تَتَّبِعُوا الْهَوَىٰ أَنْ تَعْدِلُوا ۚ وَإِنْ تَلْوُوا أَوْ تُعْرِضُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرًا 

“Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swerve.” (Surah Nisa 4:135)

Hurt what is hurt: hurt verb, hurt, hurting, and noun, adjective

1) To cause bodily injury to; injure: He was badly hurt in the accident.  2) To cause bodily pain to or in: The wound still hurts him.  3) To damage or decrease the efficiency of (a material object) by striking, rough use, improper care, etc.: Moths can’t hurt this suit because it’s mothproof. Dirty oil can hurt a car’s engine.  4) To affect adversely; harm: to hurt one’s reputation; It wouldn’t hurt the lawn if you watered it more often.  5) To cause mental pain to; offend or grieve: She hurt his feelings by not asking him to the party. 

Verb-(used without object) 6) To feel or suffer bodily or mental pain or distress: My back still hurts.  7) To cause bodily or mental pain or distress: The blow to his pride hurt most.  8) To cause injury, damage, or harm. 9) To suffer want or need.

Noun- 10) A blow that inflicts a wound; bodily injury or the cause of such injury. 11) Injury, damage, or harm. 12) The cause of mental pain or offense, as an insult. 13)  Heraldry. A rounded azure.

Adjective-14) Physically injured: The hurt child was taken to the hospital.  15) Offended; unfavorably affected: hurt pride.  16) Suggesting that one has been offended or is suffering in mind: Take that hurt look off your face!   17) Damaged: hurt merchandise. 

To me what hurts is that, THE DENYING OF OUR MARRIAGE!!Ali (RA) has said “wounds of knives can heal, but the wounds of the tongue can never heal”.  Gosh that hurts so bad, the hurt went so much worst when I received a reply not from my husband but dictated through a student for Eid let me share with you the contents of the email:

You had sent a message to our email and well as the society . We are assuming it was done through error. The Imaam receives many such pranks and emails from time to time.  We bless you and hope the same for yourself. We have asked our Imaam to respond to this email. He has said the following: ‘I have no wife. I do not intend to have a wife. This email is foul play.’ We honestly think you have sent this email to the wrong person. Wishing you the best.


On Wed, Sep 23, 2009 at 6:41 AM, …….@ “email addy removed”wrote:

As sala’amu alaikum

My Dearest Husband

Inshallah with the Mercy of Allah you are in good health. A sweet and belated Eid Mubarak.
Please do remember me in your duas.

With love and duasYour Wife
M (May Allah have Mercy on her.Aameen)

HOW CAN AN EMAIL FROM A WIFE TO HER HUSBAND BE A PRANK ???? Now I am wondering do I have to post our Nikah certificate, was the oath a promise and pledge of Nikah in the Masjid in front of Allah with many witnesses a lie?What about the promises and oaths that where taken are they lies too? Sure like many couples we have our disagreements, but together we have to work through them, what hurts as well is that when a spouse believe another and DOUBTS HIS WIFE! The other person is not part of our life, yes he may be pious, but what kind of piety is it when he creates a doubt in the heart and mind of a husband??? Does the pious person understand that he is breaking up a stable and firm home?? Does he ever think on how is he going to answer to Allah? And to that heart of whom he has broke? My dear husband Maulana Muhammed Shoayb as much as you want to believe in your sheik and the fatwa’s that you have got BASED ON DOUBT that our home is broken, I can take an oath with full conviction that you have NEVER EVER UTTERED WORDS TO BREAK OUR HOME! like I said before and I will say I again “IF I COULD TOUCH THE ARSH OF ALLAH AND TAKE THE OATH I WOULD” SO TO ME OUR MARRIAGE IS STILL INTACT, I have done all I could to make you understand and hear my side , but then I am always wrong in your eyes. May Allah improve me in character. Aameen. The words of Allah and Rasulullah (SAW) creates in my soul, mind, tongue and heart the fear of speaking a lie, Allah says :

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَكُونُوا مَعَ الصَّادِقِينَ

“O you who have believed! Fear Allah and be with those who are true (in word and deed).” (Surah At-Tawbah 9: 119)
Rasulullah (SAW) said: “Stick to truthfulness, as it leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise; and a person will keep on telling the truth until he becomes a truthful person.”

وَأَوْفُوا بِعَهْدِ اللَّهِ إِذَا عَاهَدْتُمْ وَلَا تَنْقُضُوا الْأَيْمَانَ بَعْدَ تَوْكِيدِهَا وَقَدْ جَعَلْتُمُ اللَّهَ عَلَيْكُمْ كَفِيلًا ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا تَفْعَلُونَ

“And fulfill Allah’s agreement when you have made an agreement and don’t violate your oaths after they have been established and you have made Allah your guardian (therein).” (Surah An-Nahl 16: 91)

Rasulullah (SAW) saying: “Falsehood leads to Al-Fujoor (i.e. wickedness, evil-doing), and Al-Fujoor leads to the Hellfire, and a man will keep on telling lies until he is written off by Allah as a liar.”

Walaikum as salaam

بنت محمد ،

Bint Muhammed

“O’Allah do not call me to account for what they say, and forgive me for what they have no knowledge me, and make me better then they imagine. Aameen Aameen “>Thuma Aameen”

Rumi said “The Lord lives in every heart. So if you desire to win your Lord’s pleasure, do not break anyone’s heart”.


12 comments on “CLARIFICATION

  1. Bie says:

    I’m shocked :(

  2. Happy then ever says:

    Sis Muslimah, i was married to a Alim for 13 yrs, he treated me bad, now i’m married to a modern man, he does know alot on islam, and he treats me better then a queen, no women should go through hell with a man, sadly alot of our Imam’s are very guilty of it. Sis Allah is with you all the way, fear no man.

  3. To Da Truth says:

    Sister, i totaly think you did the right and honest thing, by declaring and standing up for your marriage, yes alot of people will think you did the wrong and opened a can of worms, but those are the people who refuse to hear a womens side,remember that Alim’s of today are great at getting Fatwa’s to suit them, a women remembers the nasty words a man says,and if you sister are confident that your husband did not answer the nasty to you, then my dear sister I BELIEVE YOU. A husband who cannot defend his wife or marriage, and who is a Alim, well it makes me and many others wonder what kind of MAN IS HE!! Everytime we read your blog, it gives of a lift to do better, thank you sister muslimah for being the lady you are, I hope that I get the honor of meeting you someday soon, may Allah make the path of you and your husband reconciling easy and sweet, for you are a lady filled with love for a man who does not deserve nor appreciates the love. May your life be blessed.amen

    • muslimah says:

      As sala’amu alaikum
      Jazakumullah for the duas, may Allah except. Aameen.
      Walaikum as salaam

      بنت محمد
      Bint Muhammed.
      “O’Allah do not call me to account for what they say, and forgive them for what they have no knowledge me, and make me better then they imagine. Aameen Thuma Aameen”

  4. Khawla says:

    I feel for you.

    • muslimah says:

      As sala’amu alaikum
      Jazakumullah for the support and duas, I truly ask if I had offended anyone please forgive me, it is not my intention to do do so,.please make for me that Allah improves me in character. Aameen.
      Please remember the Ummah in your duas.
      Walaikum as salaam

      بنت محمد
      Bint Muhammed.
      “O’Allah do not call me to account for what they say, and forgive them for what they have no knowledge of, and make me better then they imagine. Aameen Thuma Aameen”

  5. Jake says:

    Heart breaking for you to write, and heart breaking for many to read, what a hell of a man. I pray to god to treat my wife well. May God bless you.

  6. Ibrahim says:

    I would address you as daughter, i make dua that Allah eases, your and your parents hurt, remember Allah is with the one who has patience, and that is you. Your husband and his Admin will defend him , but allah is with you and Allah will defend you.

  7. Mera says:

    You are such an inspirational person, i do love reading your blog, sister dont let a man get you down,you are a wonderful role model to many. You should not worry of your husbands doubt, and hurt he has caused you, because the wheel will turn to him. May allah bless you amen

  8. Talaal says:

    Sister as man your post made me cry, insh-allah you will gain the best in both worlds. I pray from my heart that Allah grants you the best, like sister riya says, “if a man makes you cry, he is not worthy of you” as a man i really agree, because no man in his right mind or senses would make his wife cry or grieve. May Allah grant your parents, family and you the best always, and to remove all grief and fill your lives with happiness amen.
    Brother Talaal

  9. Riya says:

    Sister if a man can make you grieve and cry he is not WORTHY of you,many will believe your husband but remember that MANY MORE will believe you. my heart cries for you, there are not many words to give comfort to you, but all i can say is have faith in Allah for Allah will bring justice. No women deserves the treatment you are getting from your husband. May Allah reward you for your patience, amen.
    Shukran for the knowledge you share, my family and I learn alot from you, may Allah reward you with the best of rewards, amen {for you are deserving of it}

    • muslimah says:

      As sala’amu alaikum
      As the days goes by my faith indeed becomes stronger, as I leave my affairs to Allah for Allah is the best of Judges.My Allah knows that I speak the truth and that I have done all the best I am capable off doing.
      But I am human after all and the pain I feel is so much that I find it hard to put into words, being strong or for that matter acting strong for my parents and family is the hardest thing to do, but I do it for I know that the depth of the pain will be extremely hard to bare, the tears, worry and concern that I see in my parents eyes everyday for me is a stab deeper in my heart, I make dua and I ask you all to make dua that Allah grants my parents , family and I to bare this trail in a manner pleasing to Allah.
      Walaikum as salaam

      بنت محمد
      Bint Muhammed.
      “O’Allah do not call me to account for what they say, and forgive them for what they have no knowledge of, and make me better then they imagine. Aameen Thuma Aameen”

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