My Test On My Iman
As sala’amu alaikum
There has been questions on Why Did I Start My Blog, and Do The Post Reflect My Feelings All The Time Or Are They Only For Motivation ..
Ok truth be, I started my blog to prove that I can do something worthwhile, that I am not a “dumb” person, you would wonder why I say that, well because I left school at grade 6, yes I did some home schooling but due to some reason did not complete high school, do I regret it, honestly no, but yes sometimes when my mind or thinking is questioned or when I am looked at as unintelligent, does a high school certificate prove intelligence? Starting my blog, was also due to the fact my husband thought we could not talk on many issues (not that he tried to talk, or ask my view or thoughts) so thought I could raise my thoughts and “talk to him “ thru my blog, but you know I do not honestly know if he ever reads it.
They say words speak louder then actions, so yes my post is what I feel , motivation is something one can only give oneself, sure someone can cheer you on, and try they very best to motivate you, but if you have no will power to be motivated it is not going to happen. I know I have been posting the last +-4 days a lot on talking the truth and on lies, someone asked why? Well that is personal but I hope that it would make a difference and that my side can be heard.
I take what I am going through right now as a “TEST ON MY IMAN”:
كُلُّ نَفْسٍ ذَائِقَةُ الْمَوْتِ ۗ وَإِنَّمَا تُوَفَّوْنَ أُجُورَكُمْ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ ۖ فَمَنْ زُحْزِحَ عَنِ النَّارِ وَأُدْخِلَ الْجَنَّةَ فَقَدْ فَازَ ۗ وَمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا مَتَاعُ الْغُرُورِ
لَتُبْلَوُنَّ فِي أَمْوَالِكُمْ وَأَنْفُسِكُمْ وَلَتَسْمَعُنَّ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ مِنْ قَبْلِكُمْ وَمِنَ الَّذِينَ أَشْرَكُوا أَذًى كَثِيرًا ۚ وَإِنْ تَصْبِرُوا وَتَتَّقُوا فَإِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ
“Every soul shall have a taste of death: And only on the Day of Judgment shall you be paid your full recompense. Only he who is saved far from the Fire and admitted to the Garden will have attained the object (of Life): For the life of this world is but goods and chattels of deception.. Ye shall certainly be tried and tested in your possessions and in your personal selves; and ye shall certainly Hear much that will grieve you, from those who received the Book before you and from those who worship many gods. But if ye persevere patiently, and guard against evil,-then that will be a determining factor in all affairs.” (Al-Imran 3:185-186)
Through my personal hardships, it is surly bringing me closer to Allah. Even though it is very hard, my only motive to keep me going was that Inshallah I’ll earn Allah’s pleasure…
I have learnt that there are things in life which you may want but no one, none but Allah can give it to you. My heart calls upon Allah all the time, even now writing as I am writing.
My tears that are truly best for me are the ones which fall when I pray and make dua to Allah. For Allah surly sees the tears and hears the cries of a believing wife. “May Allah give me the strength to remain positive, to keep the hope in my heart that hearts and minds that need to hear become open. Aameen Thuma Aameen”
Walaikum as salaam
“O’Allah do not call me to account for what they say, and forgive me for what they have no knowledge me, and make me better then they imagine. Aameen Thuma Aameen”
“Oh Allah, Grant my heart life after it has been dead. Purify me as rain purifies Your earth.
Grant me beautiful patience. Grant me strength because I am weak. Guide me because I am so lost. Reward me for the trials I face. Grant me Your mercy. Allow me to taste the sweetness of your Paradise. Honor me by accepting my dua as one of Your servants. Aameen Thuma Aameen”