Etiquette’s In The Family

                          Etiquette’s In The Family


Once we have children, it is really important to teach them manners, and more then ever in today’s  world is how to react with people, that can only start at home, reaction with parents, our spouse, siblings and relatives. But before we can teach the child that we ourselves should practice upon it, how many of us really have good behavior with those close to us? Let us practice and teach to our children.

Today I’m be writing down to parts on for siblings and one for relatives.


May Allah give me first and you dear reader the ability to practice upon the beautiful teachings of the Qur’an, Hadith and  Sunnah. Aameen.


Etiquette’s Towards Siblings


A Muslim is of the view that manners towards one’s siblings should be like the behavior towards one’s parents and children. For example, the smaller sibling should relate towards his elder sibling like a child towards his father. And the elder sibling should relate towards his younger siblings like parents to their children, with respect to obligations and manners. This is based on what has been narrated by the Prophet { SAW }: “ The right of the elder sibling over the younger sibling is like the right of the father over his child.” { Al-Baihaqi }


Allah’s Messenger { SAW } also said: “ Be dutiful towards your mother and your father, and your sister, and you brother, then those closest to you, followed by those next closest to you.” { At-Hakim }


Etiquette’s With Close Relatives


A Muslim adheres to the same behavior and manners with his close relatives as he does with respect to his parents, spouse, children and siblings. He treats his maternal aunt like a mother and his paternal uncle like his father. He behaves the same way towards his uncles and aunts as he does to his parents, with obedience, dutifulness and goodness. Everyone for which he and they share  a common link of the womb is his relative, regardless whether he be Muslim or non-Muslim. It is then obligatory upon him to have good relations with them, treat them kindly and have goodness towards them. He must treat them in the same manner and with the same rights he treats his father or child. He respects the elder among them and show mercy for the younger among them. He visits them when they ill. He pays them condolences when they are afflicted. He keeps ties of relations with them even if they should cut then off. He is soft and gentle with them even if they should be harsh and hard with him. All of this he does in order to follow and obey what is stated in the following Hadith and Verse :

“ And fear Allah through Whom you demand {you mutual rights} ,and  { do not cut f relations of } the wombs { kinship}.” { Al-Quraan 4:1 }

Allah also says: “ And blood relations among each other have closer personal ties in the Decree of Allah.” { Al-Quraan 33:6 }


In another verse Allah says: “Would you then ,if you are given the authority, to do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship?”{ Al-Quraan 47:22 }


Again Allah says: “So give to the kindred his due, and to Al-Miskin { the poor } and to the wayfarer. That is best for those who seek Allah’s Countenance, and it is the key who will be successful.” { Al-Quraan }


Allah also says: “ Verily, Allah  enjoins Al-‘Adl { i.e. justice and worshipping none but Allah Alone-Islamic Monotheism }

And Al-Ihsan giving  {help} to kith and kin.” { Al-Quraan 16:90 }



Yet another verse states: “Worship Allah and join none with Him {in worship}, and do good to parents, kinfolk, orphans. Al-Masakin {the poor} , the neighbor who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer {you meet} , and those {slaves} whom youir right hand possess.” { Al-Quraan 4:36 }


Allah also says: “ And when the relatives the orphans and Al-Masakin {the poor} are present at the time of division, give them out of the property, and speak to them words of kindness and justice.” { Al-Quraan 4:8 }


Allah’s Messenger { SAW } said: “ Allah has said, “I am the Merciful. As for the womb { Al-Rahm }, I have derived its name from one of My names. Whoever keeps its ties, I shall keep his ties. And whoever cuts off, I shall cut him off.” { Al-Tirmidhi }


Allah’s Messenger { SAW }  was asked with whom he should be most dutiful. He answered; “ Your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then closest to you followed by those next closest to you.”


The Prophet { SAW } was also asked about what deeds would take one to Paradise and keep one far from Hell and He answered: “ Worship Allah and do not associate anything with Him, establish the prayer, pay the Zakat and keep ties of the kinship.” { Al- Bukhari and Muslim }


He was once asked about the maternal aunt and he said: “ She has the status as the mother.” { Al-Bukhari and Muslim }


He also said: “ Giving charity to the poor is an act of charity. Giving charity to a relative is both an act of charity and  an act of keeping ties of kin.” { Al-Bukhari and Muslim }


Asma bint Abu Bakr { RA } asked Allah’s Messenger { SAW } whether she should keep ties of relationship with her mother who had come to visit her from Mecca and she was a polytheist. He said to her: “ Yes, maintain the ties of kinship with your mother.” { Al-Bukhari and Muslim }


“May Allah Guide Us All. Aameen.”


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